Auburn My First Time

There was no flowers, candles

Didn’t see no fireworks

He barely even knew my name

There was no pleasure, whatsoever

All I know is that it hurt me

And I wish that I could take it away

My first time

I still remember when I met him

Just turned 18, it was late ’07

He would smile with a wink, my heart, it would sink

My cheeks going red, but my brain, it would think

About the women in the crowd, yelling loud when he’s seen

What would a man like that want with a girl like me?

But still, I would imagine it, dinner with a candle lit

Watching cheesy movies but for me I knew he’d handle it

See, I was a virgin, friends would tease and call me Magdalene

Didn’t really mind cause I was waiting for a guy

To put a ring on my finger not a hand on my thigh

Take care of my heart and not put tears in my eyes

So why did I ever put myself in that position?

Sitting back wishing that I could just take it all back

And yes, promise if I got that same call

I guarantee that I would never call back

There was no flowers, candles

Didn’t see no fireworks

He barely even knew my name

There was no pleasure, whatsoever

All I know is that it hurt me

And I wish that I could take it away

My first time

And he was handsome, charming

Even met my mom, nothing really seemed alarming

My dad kinda mad said, “I don’t like that cat”

I told him “you’re my dad, dad. I kind of expect that”

Had a show that night and check in to the Weston

Had time before the show and planned on wasting it, texting

I was in the lobby feeling like the only brown, something like bobby

Watching all the rich folks sipping on Mondabe, he saw me

Snack and a movie, me and him, so lame, I was giggling

But I didn’t really mind cause I was waiting for my guy

To put a ring on my finger, not a hand on my thigh

So why did I ever put myself in that position?

Sitting back wishing that I could just take it all back

And yes, promise if I got that same call

I guarantee that I would never call back

There was no flowers, candles

Didn’t see no fireworks

He barely even knew my name

There was no pleasure, whatsoever

All I know is that it hurt me

And I wish that I could take it away

My first time

Got into the room and it was real quiet

Felt a little weird, I was no longer excited

I turned on the tv but he could only see me

Not once did he even try to find a movie

He leaned in and kissed me for the first time at last

But then I realized he was moving too fast

Forcing me down while I was gently pushing up

And then my gentle wasn’t gentle cause he wasn’t giving up

Grabbed my arms and my hands and held ’em on my chest

Rubbing on my navel started kissing on my neck

Tried unbuttoning my pants to get ’em off, while I tried to get him off

Fighting for my innocence and he just trying to get off

Crying inside and then my tears caught up

He took it all from me, everything that I was proud of

I laid there three hours, numb to the change

Didn’t even have the decency to look me in my face

And when I think back to that night

It’s hard for me not to ask why, why

So I just keep it all inside

So then I think about the next girl like me

She may never make it out the devestory

So I gots to try, while I got this fight

There was no flowers, candles

Didn’t see no fireworks

He barely even knew my name

There was no pleasure, whatsoever

All I know is that it hurt me

And I wish that I could take it away

My first time, why did I ever have to feel that pain

Now I’m never gonna be the same

My first time, why, didn’t have to go down that way

But I know I’m not the one to blame for that night

My first time