Be More Chill Cast Do You Wanna Hang?

[CHLOE:]

Jake’s parent’s room. Don’t worry, they’re not using it

[JEREMY:]

Wow, you… really know you’re way around

[CHLOE:]

Yeah, I’ve had sex in pretty much every room in this house

[JEREMY:]

Wha…?

[CHLOE:]

Because I dated Jake! God, what kind of slut do you think I am?

Do you wanna hang?

Do you wanna hang?

Do you wanna hang for a bit?

Just you and me

Intimately

Talking about all of our feelings and shit

Do you wanna get

Do you wanna get

Do you wanna get really deep?

We could connect

If I get wrecked

You could rock this baby fast asweep

[JEREMY:]

Uh, I have to go. I can’t stand up

[SQUIP:]

You’re welcome

[CHLOE:]

Do you wanna stop?

Do you wanna stop?

Do you wanna stop bein’ coy?

Do you wanna get

Do you wanna get

Wanna get inside my diaper, boy?

Be More Chill Cast Michael In The Bathroom

[MICHAEL:]

I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall

I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody’d even notice at all

I’m a creeper in a bathroom ’cause my buddy kinda left me alone

But I’d rather fake pee than stand awkwardly, or pretend to check a text on my phone

Everything felt fine when I was half of a pair

Now through no fault of mine, there’s no other half there

Now I’m just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom, at a party

Forget how long it’s been

I’m just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party

No you can’t come in!

I’m waiting it out ’til it’s time to leave

And picking at grout as I softly grieve

I’m just Michael who you don’t know, Michael flyin’ solo, Michael in the bathroom by himself

Oh, by himself

I am hiding, but he’s out there, just ignoring all our history

Memories get erased, and I’ll get replaced, with a newer, cooler version of me

And I hear a drunk girl sing along to Whitney through the door.. I wanna dance with somebody!

And my feelings sink, ’cause it makes me think: now there’s no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore!

Now it’s just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party

I half regret the beers

Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party

As I choke back the tears

I’ll wait as long as I need, until my face is dry

Or I’ll just blame it on weed, or something in my eye!

I’m just Michael who you don’t know, Michael flyin’ solo

Michael in the bathroom by himself!

Knock, knock, knock, knock

They’re gonna start to shout soon

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Oh hell yeah, I’ll be out soon

[MICHAEL & ENSEMBLE:]

Knock, knock, knock, knock

[MICHAEL:]

It sucks you left me here alone..

[MICHAEL & ENSEMBLE:]

Knock, knock, knock, knock

[MICHAEL:]

Here in this teenage battle zone..

[MICHAEL & ENSEMBLE:]

Clang, clang, clang, clang

[MICHAEL:]

I feel the pressure blowing up..

[MICHAEL & ENSEMBLE:]

Bang, bang, bang, bang

[MICHAEL:]

My big mistake was showing up..

[MICHAEL & ENSEMBLE:]

Splash, splash, splash, splash

[MICHAEL:]

I throw some water in my face

And I am in a better place

I go to open up the door

But I can’t hear knocking

Anymore

And I can’t help but yearn

For a different time

And then I look in the mirror

And the present is clearer

And there’s no denying, I’m just..

At a party

Is there a sadder sight than…

Michael in the bathroom at a party

This is a heinous night

I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable porn

Or wish I offed myself instead

Wish I was never born!

I’m just Michael who’s a loner

So he must be a stoner

Rides a PT Cruiser

God he’s such a loser

Michael flyin’ solo

Who you think that you know

Michael in the bathroom by himself

Oh, by himself

Oh, by himself

All you know about me is my name

Awesome party

I’m so glad I came

Be More Chill Cast Halloween

[BROOKE:]

Picked out a costume for tonight

Made sure to get a size that was a lot too tight

You can kind of see my business

But I’ll act like I don’t know

Woah

[JAKE:]

I got a condom

[CHLOE:]

And a flask

[RICH:]

I stole my older brother’s Jason mask

And I don’t have a machete but a loaf of bread will do

[ALL:]

Ooh

[JAKE:]

Who’s ready for my Halloween party?

Everybody’s got a red Solo cup

Fill it up, fill it up

Hear the beer spill on the ground

Everybody’s all like “‘Sup!

Yo man, ‘sup!

Let’s catch up!

Let’s smoke up!

Look how many drinks I’ve downed!”

Every single song’s all like “Whoop!”

They’re all “Whoop!”

We’re like “Yup

Turn it up!”

As we stumble to the sound

‘Cause a Halloween party’s a rad excuse

To put your body through mad abuse

And I might pass out but it’s alright

‘Cause I’m Halloween partyin’ hard tonight

(Woo!)

It’s Halloween!

(Woo!)

It’s Halloween!

[BROOKE:]

Jeremy! I was afraid you weren’t coming, did you get my messages?

[SQUIP:]

Play it off

[JEREMY:]

Am I late? I didn’t even realize

[BROOKE:]

Well, what do you think of my costume? I figure, you always see sexy cats, but no one ever goes as a sexy dog

[JEREMY:]

Oh, its…

[SQUIP:]

Vague compliment

[JEREMY:]

Original. I mean amazing! Seriously, I can’t believe I’m with a girl who looks like you

[BROOKE:]

You need a drink

[ALL:]

Crank the bass!

It’s Halloween!

Break a vase!

It’s Halloween!

Jello shot!

It’s Halloween!

Liver spots!

From Halloween!

Everybody’s got a red Solo cup

Fill it up, fill it up

Hear the beer spill on the ground

Everybody’s all like “‘Sup!

Yo man, ‘sup!

Let’s catch up!

Let’s smoke up!

Look how many drinks I’ve downed!”

Every single song’s all like “Whoop!”

They’re all “Whoop!”

We’re like “Yup

Turn it up!”

As we stumble to the sound

‘Cause a Halloween party’s a rad excuse

To put your body through mad abuse

And I might pass out but it’s alright

‘Cause I’m Halloween partyin’ hard tonight

It’s Halloween!

It’s Halloween!

Be More Chill Cast A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into

[CHRISTINE:]

Say there’s this person you pass in the hall every day

You’ve known him since seventh grade

You’re used to thinking about him in a certain way

From the persona that he displayed

Then something changes, and he changes

From a guy that you’d never be into

Into a guy that you’d kinda be into

From a guy that I’d never be into

Into a guy that I’d kinda be into

Is he worth it?

Jeremy?

Is he?

[JEREMY:]

Is she talking about me?

[THE SQUIP:]

Of course she is. I’ve been activating your pheromones. Keep it up

[CHRISTINE:]

Say there’s this person that you never knew that well

[ENSEMBLE:]

She is totally into you

[CHRISTINE:]

You thought that you had him pegged, but now you can tell

He’s gone from a

[CHRISTINE & ENSEMBLE:]

Guy that you’d never be into

Into a guy that you’d kinda be into

From a guy that I’d never be into

Into a guy that I’d kinda be into

[CHRISTINE:]

Is he worth it?

Jeremy?

[THE SQUIP & JEREMY:]

Absolutely

[CHRISTINE:]

I don’t always relate to other people my age

Except when I’m on the stage

And there are so many changes that I’m going through

And why am I telling this to you?

Guess there’s a part of me that wants to

I guess a part of me wants, who knew?

I guess a part of me likes to talk to you

I guess a part of me likes to, who knew?

I guess a part of me likes to sit with you

I guess a part of me likes to, who knew?

I guess a part of me likes to hang with you

I guess a part of me

Back to play rehearsal

I know that it’s weird but it’s totally true

The guy that that I’d kinda be into

[JEREMY:]

The guy that you’d kind of be into

[CHRISTINE:]

Yeah that

[JEREMY & CHRISTINE:]

Guy that I’d kinda be into

[CHRISTINE:]

Is…

Jake

Be More Chill Cast The Squip Enters

[JEREMY:]

Ow!

[THE SQUIP:]

Target female inaccessible

[CHRISTINE:]

Jeremy?

[JEREMY:]

Ugh.. What the hell?!

[THE SQUIP:]

Calibration in process

Please excuse some mild discomfort

[JEREMY:]

Mild?!

[CHRISTINE:]

Jeremy! What’s wrong?

[JAKE:]

Dude, the freak’s freaking out!

[THE SQUIP:]

Calibration complete

Access procedure initiated

[JEREMY:]

Woah-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait

I’m fine, I just nee..

[THE SQUIP:]

Discomfort level may increase

[JEREMY:]

Guah! Aagh! Guaaaah!

[THE SQUIP:]

Accessing neural memory

Accessing muscle memory

Access procedure complete

Jeremy Heere

Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor

Your SQUIP

Be More Chill Cast Do You Wanna Ride?

[THE SQUIP:]

Brooke is going to offer you a ride

It is imperative you accept

[BROOKE:]

So, do you wanna ride?

[THE SQUIP:]

Yes

[JEREMY:]

Yes

But I’m supposed to meet my friend Michael!

[BROOKE:]

Oh

[THE SQUIP:]

Jeremy, if this is going to work. You need to do as I instruct

[BROOKE:]

Jeremy

Do you wanna ride?

Do you wanna ride?

Do you wanna ride, wanna go far?

Do you wanna get

Do you wanna get

Do you wanna get inside my mother’s car?

Drive it on home

Don’t you say no

Jerry, can you be coerced?

Home in a snatch

Only one catch

We gotta stop for frozen yogurt first

[BROOKE & CHLOE:]

Do you wanna ride?

Do you wanna ride?

Do you wanna ride, wanna go far?

Do you wanna get

Do you wanna get

Do you wanna get inside my mother’s car?

Drive it on home

Don’t you say no

Jerry, can you be coerced?

Home in a snatch

Only one catch

We gotta stop for frozen yogurt first

[BROOKE:]

Pinkberry

Be More Chill Cast The Pants Song

[MR HEERE:]

Jeremy

Is in big bad trouble right now

It’s trouble that he can’t see

And I gotta help him somehow

I don’t know what he wants

But I know what he needs

He’ll need a dad so strong

To help him not slip away

I haven’t been a dad for so long

But I think I’m ready today

The situation is grave

Now’s the time to be brave

I’m gonna finally make that climb

One leg at a time!

When you love somebody

You put your pants on for them!

When you love somebody

You take a chance just for them

Chance just for them!

If the road gets muddy

Focus on the goal ’till the rough stuff’s gone

When you love somebody

You put your pants on!

I need you, ’cause I do not have the tools

To help with what he’s going through

And I know you know all the rules

[MICHAEL:]

But I’m not what he wants

[MR HEERE:]

But you’re just what he needs

And this might be hard, I know

You just suck it up and go!

When you love somebody

You put your pants on for them!

When you love somebody

You take a stance just for them

Stance just for them!

If the fight gets bloody

Just keep pushing through ’till the pain is gone

When you love somebody

You put your pants on!

I need you to reach out to him! Jeremy won’t listen to me and… can’t blame him… but someone has to watch his back

[MICHAEL:]

If I try harder to be his friend, you have to try harder to be his dad

There’s a Kohl’s right down the street, I don’t care what kind: Jeans, khaki, leather.. You’re not leaving that store until you buy a pair!

[MR HEERE:]

You drive a hard bargain, son

[MICHAEL:]

When you love somebody

You put your pants on for them

[MR HEERE:]

Wear those pants

[MICHAEL:]

Somewhat reluctantly

[MR HEERE & MICHAEL:]

Still, you gotta go!

When you love somebody

You put your pants on for them!

Metaphorically

[MR HEERE:]

Or sometimes actual pants, real literal pants

[MR HEERE & MICHAEL:]

It’s a classic study

Of the things we do for our best friend!

When you love somebody

[MICHAEL:]

You see it ’till the end

[MR HEERE & MICHAEL:]

When you love somebody

[MR HEERE:]

The conclusions forgone

[MR HEERE & MICHAEL:]

When you love somebody

You put your big boy pants right on

You put your pants on!

Be More Chill Cast The Pitiful Children

[SQUIP:]

You were always quite the loser, Jeremy

Then I invaded

And you upgraded

Ba-da-ba-ba

Woah

Jeremy, it’s true that I found you

But look around you

Woah

All your peers are just so incomplete

You can’t see it, but they’re all in pain

Their operating system’s obsolete

So let’s complete the chains

And get inside those brains

Let’s save the pitiful children

[STUDENTS:]

Woah

[SQUIP:]

Let’s save the pitiful children

[STUDENTS:]

Woah

[SQUIP:]

Let’s teach the pitiful children, who just haven’t a clue

Just what to do

Help them to help you

[JENNA:]

Ah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[SQUIP:]

Can you see the vision clearly, Jeremy?

Users embracing and interfacing

Beep boop beep boop

Shiny, happy people singing sweetly

[JENNA:]

Yeah

[SQUIP:]

Gone is human error and fear

[JENNA:]

Beep bop boo beep bop boo beep bop boo beep

[SQUIP:]

Every issue tucked away so neatly

If you feel a sob or tear

Just turn that knob, and switch that gear

[SQUIP:]

Let’s save the pitiful children

[JENNA:]

Yeah

[SQUIP:]

Let’s save the pitiful children

[JENNA:]

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

[SQUIP:]

Let’s teach the pitiful children

[SQUIP:]

Who just haven’t a clue

Just what to do

Help them and soon this will be you

[ALL:]

Let’s save the pitiful children

[SQUIP:]

Rap beep beep bop

[ALL:]

Let’s save the pitiful children

[SQUIP:]

Re bop bo beep bop bo beep bop bo

[ALL:]

Let’s teach the pitiful children, who haven’t a clue

[SQUIP:]

If that’s what we do

If that’s what we do

Then

[ALL:]

Everything about us is going to be wonderful

[STUDENTS:]

We love everything about Squips

[ALL:]

Everything about us is going to be so alive

[STUDENTS:]

We could never live without Squips

[SQUIP:]

You won’t feel left out or unsure

[ALL:]

Not pitiful children anymore

‘Cause

Everything about us is going to be cool

When… we… rule!

Be More Chill Cast I Love Play Rehearsal

[CHRISTINE:]

I love play rehearsal

Because it’s the best!

Because it is fun

I love play rehearsal

And I get depressed as soon as it’s done

But not depressed as in like kill yourself depressed

No, I’m not into self-harm

Dude, I swear, here check my arm!

See, I just use the word to emphasize a point

Show the passion I have got

I am passionate a lot

I have mad, gigantic feelings

Red and frantic feelings

About most everything

Like gun control, like spring

Like if I’m living up to all I’m meant to be

I also have a touch of ADD

Where was I?

Oh, right!

I love play rehearsal

Cause’ you are equipped with direction and text

Life is easy in rehearsal

You follow a script so you know what comes next

Anywho the point that I’m getting to is Sometimes life can’t

Work out in the way

It works out in the play

Like the only time I get to be the center of attention

Is when I’m Juliet or Blanche DuBois

And can I mention?

That was really one of my best roles

Did you see that?

And no matter how hard I try

It’s impossible to narrow down the many reasons why-y-y

I love play rehearsal

I happiness cry whenever it starts!

It’s just so universal

Getting to try playing so many parts

Most humans do one thing for all of their lives

The thought of that gives me hives!

I’ve got so many interests I wanna pursue

And why am I telling this to you?

Guess there’s a part of me that wants to

Back to play rehearsal

My brain is like ‘bzz’

My heart is like ‘wow!’

‘Cause we’re here at play rehearsal

And it’s starting

We’re starting

It’s starting

Soon…

Be More Chill Cast The Smartphone Hour

[JENNA:]

O-M-G Chlo, answer me

Woah, wait until I tell you what I heard!

It’s too FUCKED to type, this shit is ripe

Call back, I’ll yell you every word

[CHLOE:]

Jenna Roland calling

Ugh, Jenna Roland calling…

Jenna Roland calling…

Hey!

[JENNA:]

Ohmygod.. Ohmygod..

Okay, so!

At the end of last night’s party

Very end of last night’s party

Did you see Rich?

[CHLOE:]

Oh I saw Rich

[JENNA:]

So he’s behaving hazy like a tweaking junkie

Flailing crazy like a freaking monkey

[CHLOE:]

He’s gotta learn to handle his high

Shouldn’t drink so much for a small guy

[JENNA:]

Right, but, he wasn’t drunk

[CHLOE:]

The hell you say, Jenna?

[JENNA:]

Yo, he wasn’t drunk!

[CHLOE:]

The hell you say, Jenna?

[JENNA:]

No! Because I heard from Dustin Kropp

That Rich had barely touched a drop

Which means that you can’t blame the things he did on alcohol

It’s just so terrible, I don’t want to relive it all

But do you want me to tell you?

[CHLOE:]

Spit it out! Spit it out!

[JENNA:]

You really want me to tell you?

[CHLOE:]

Spit it out! Spit it out!

[JENNA:]

I’ll tell you ’cause you are my closest friend!

[CHLOE:]

No I’m not?

[JENNA:]

Yeah, I know

But here’s what happened at the party’s end

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! (Woah)

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! (Woah)

I thought I was dreaming

Everybody was screaming!

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

[CHLOE:]

O-M-G Brooke, answer me

Look, wait until I tell you what I saw!

[BROOKE:]

Ignore!

[CHLOE:]

Hmph! And also space and frowny face

I’m sorry that Jeremy made out with me at the party

But it was totally his fault

And let’s not let boys ever come between us ever again okay?

Smiley face, lipstick, kitty paw

[BROOKE:]

Hey

[CHLOE:]

We cool?

[BROOKE:]

We are

[CHLOE:]

Okay, so!

At the end of last night’s party

Did you see Rich?

[BROOKE:]

No, I was crying

[CHLOE:]

So he’s behaving weird and I was frightened

‘Cause I feared his state was heightened

[BROOKE:]

He’s gotta learn to not really smoke a lot

He shouldn’t get so high for a tiny guy

[BOTH:]

He’s gotta learn to not really smoke a lot

He shouldn’t get so high for a tiny guy

[CHLOE:]

Right, but, he wasn’t high!

So you can’t blame the things he did on pot

It’s just so awful, so I’ll talk about it a lot

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! (Woah)

I thought I was dreaming

Everybody was screaming!

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

Hey, Everybody! Have you heard?

Rich set a fire, now go send the word!

[CHLOE (ENSEMBLE):]

Sending a text (Text!)

Sending a tweet (Tweet!)

Sending a text (Text!)

[CHLOE & JENNA (ENSEMBLE):]

Tweet (Tweet!)

Release the information, step, and repeat!

[BROOKE (ENSEMBLE):]

I’ll spread the word! (Woooord!)

That Rich is flecked (Flecked?)

No, I meant fucked

Did I say ‘flecked’?

Sorry guys, that’s just my auto-correct

(Always be aware of auto-correct!)

[ALL:]

R-I-C-H

Can’t you see?

Just how much I care about your tragedy

Change my profile pic to you

Now I full understand what you’re going through

R-I-C-H

It’s a drag

I read, she read, they read you’re in a body bag

R-I-C-H

Can’t you see?

Just how much I love your tragedy

Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

Sup! Sup! Sup! Sup!

FIRE!

Hey! (Ha!)

Talk it, text it, pass it, talk it!

Woaaaaah…

Ready? Okay

Here we go!

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! (Woah)

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

It was so terribly gory

I got the whole bloody story

Yeah, I wasn’t quite there

But I know what happened I swear!

[JENNA, CHLOE & BROOKE:]

When Rich set a fire and he burned the house down

When Rich set a fire and he levelled the town

[ALL:]

When Rich set a fire and he fled to Bombay

When Rich set a fire ’cause he knew he was gay

When Rich set a fire and he melted his head

When Rich set a fire and he’s totally dead

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

Burned it down! (Woah)

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Did ya hear? Did ya hear?

Burned it down! (Woah)

Did ya hear? Did ya hear?

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Burned it down! (Woah)

Did ya hear? Did ya hear?

That Rich set a fire and he burned down the..

Rich set a fire and he burned down the..

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

[JENNA, CHLOE & BROOKE:]

He told me cause he’s my best friend!

[ALL:]

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

Send!