Bloodhound Gang Uncool As Me

I’m quite the sped, I never shred

Not cool

(Not cool)

But my bros all call me Itch

(With the silent B)

But that spells Bitch

(Fits you perfectly)

Chaz Bono dickbag, word fuck tick, not cool

(Not cool)

And I smell like regret and tequila

(What’s that even mean?)

I have no idea

(You’re livin’ the dream)

Hey you, you dance like those assholes I see

in old Molly Ringwald movies

I think you’re as uncool as me

Hey you, you dance like those assholes I see

in old Molly Ringwald movies

I think you’re as uncool as me

And I dance!

They don’t think you’re all that cool

they like you for your step-dad’s pool

They don’t think you’re all that cool,

but your vampire fiction rules

I’m such a tit, I say dumb shit

Not cool (Not cool)

And my friends think that I like men

(That’s because you do)

Don’t even listen to them

(No one’s judging you)

John Goodman gut, slow kid haircut

Not cool (Not cool)

Do you like Renaissance fairs?

(Where’d you get that scarf?)

Tis what thy lord doth wear

(I’ll be in the car)

Hey you, you dance like those assholes I see

in old Molly Ringwald movies

I think you’re as uncool as me

Hey you, you dance like those assholes I see

in old Molly Ringwald movies

I think you’re as uncool as me

And I dance!

They don’t think you’re all that cool,

they like you for your step-dad’s pool

They don’t think you’re all that cool,

but your vampire fiction rules

Dancin’ with myself, in the dark, on the ceiling

Dancin’ with myself, in the dark, on the ceiling

And I dance!

They don’t think you’re all that cool,

they like you for your step-dad’s pool.

They don’t think you’re all that cool,

but your vampire fiction rules

Let’s go to Civil War reenactments

Throw some back and yell “too soon!” at them

Let’s go to Civil War reenactments

Warning, spoiler alert!

Bloodhound Gang Shut Up

I’m Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil

I’m like a zit a wart a corn a cyst a festering boil

I get under your skin and I sebaceously form

I’m as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn

Keep ya hungry for more like Bangladesh

Then I’ll borg di borg do borg ya like the Swedish Chef

Cause I’m one of a kind and kind of hard to find

Kind of like an Injun without his fire water wine

I’m like Schneider one day at a time

I’m feeling like Bob Vila nailing up your behind

To my wall like Daniel-son does

I’m waxing on I’m waxing off I’m waxing just because

I get wired like a Western Union and I got to be me

And I got more balls than the daily lottery

Like hemorrhoidal itch yo you can’t ignore me

Cause I’m more tongue and cheek than a lesbo orgy

And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me

Cause’ I don’t like you cause you’re not like me

And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me

Cause’ I don’t like you cause you’re not like me

And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me

Cause’ I don’t like you cause you’re not like me

Second verse is different than the first

I’m Jimmy Pop I am

Jimmity Jimmity Pop I am I am

See my name’s not Hoover and I don’t give a damn

And I got a different angle like a parellelogram

And you’ll be all ears like a field of corn

I’ll make you Dizzy like Gillespie as I toot my own horn

Like a No. 2 pencil I always got a point

You’ll want to share it with friends like a poorly rolled joint

I’m Jimmy Pop y’all I’m Jimmy Pop y’all I’m an Alka Seltzer that’s right you’re a seagull

As I continue to expand your head is gonna burst

Leave a bad taste in your mouth like moldy Liverwurst

Like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre I’ll get in your face

But then I’ll brush you off like Aqua-Fresh toothpaste

Cause I’m letting off steam like a Chinese Laundromat

But I’m not a roll of Charmin so don’t give me no crap

And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me

Cause’ I don’t like you cause you’re not like me

And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me

Cause’ I don’t like you cause you’re not like me

And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me

Cause’ I don’t like you cause you’re not like me

I hate a lot of whites and I hate a lot of blacks

I hate poopin’ in public places but we all hate that

I hate lesbian feminists because they’re all so damn ugly

I hate Spin Magazine cause they never ever plug me

I hate Regis and I hate Kathie Lee

I hate every single movie by that midget Spike Lee

I hate people that think I care what they think

I hate people that think their ass don’t stink

I hate Jon Bon Jovi but I hate his music more

I hate killing people because I hate to keep score

I hate you but you hate yourself too

I hate to be honest but I’d hate to be you

And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me

Cause’ I don’t like you cause you’re not like me

And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me

Cause’ I don’t like you cause you’re not like me

And I don’t give a damn if you don’t like me

Cause’ I don’t like you cause you’re not like me.

Bloodhound Gang The Ballad Of Chasey Lain

Dear Chasey Lain

I wrote to explain

I’m your biggest fan

I just wanted to ask

Could I eat your ass?

Write back as soon as you can

You’ve had a lotta dick

Had a lotta dick

I’ve had a lotta time

Had a lotta time

You’ve had a lotta dick Chasey

But you ain’t had mine

Dear Chasey Lain

I wrote to complain

Ya never wrote me back

How could I ever eat

Your ass when ya treat

Your biggest fan like that?

You’ve had a lotta dick

Had a lotta dick

I’ve had a lotta time

Had a lotta time

You’ve had a lotta dick Chasey

But you ain’t had mine

Dear Chasey Lain

I wrote to constrain

This letter is my last

As your biggest fan

I must demand

You let me eat your ass

You’ve had a lotta dick

Had a lotta dick

I’ve had a lotta time

Had a lotta time

You’ve had a lotta dick Chasey

But you ain’t had mine

P.S.

Mom and Dad this is Chasey

Chasey this is my mom and dad

Now show ’em them titties

Now show ’em them titties

P.S.

Mom and Dad this is Chasey

Chasey this is my mom and dad

Now show ’em them titties

Now show ’em them titties

Would ya fuck me for blow?

Bloodhound Gang Your Only Friends Are Make Believe

Yea well I sing like an amputee though

Why?

Cause can’t hold a note can’t cary a tune

Knock knock Mr. Rogers it’s Mr. McFeelie

I’ve brought you a letter speedy delivery

Well Mr. McFeelie if there’s postage due

You can go fuck yourself like Captain Kangaroo

I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend

But in the end I still have no friends

Do do do do do do do do do

Do do do do do do do do do

Mr. Rogers I like your cardigan sweater

Mr. McFeelie shut up and give me my letter

I don’t want to talk to you don’t you understand?

Why are you inside my house you’re just my fuckin’ mailman?

I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend

But in the end I still have no friends

Do do do do do do do do do

Do do do do do do do do do

You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend

But in the end you still have no friends

You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend

But in the end you still have no friends

Do do do do do do do do do

Do do do do do do do do do

You are my best friend too

I share the same views and hardly ever argue

Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span

And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Your best friend is you I’m my best friend too

I share the same views and hardly ever argue

Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span

And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Your best friend is you I’m my best friend too

I share the same views and hardly ever argue

Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span

And rock out to old school Duran Duran.

Bloodhound Gang Farting With A Walkman On

I know you’re gonna play me when you get wind

I heard you’re full of shit so I’ve been duped again

But if you cover your ass with the same old song

You might as well be farting farting with a Walkman on

I know you’re gonna play me when you get wind

I heard you’re full of shit so I’ve been duped again

But if you cover your ass with the same old song

You might as well be farting farting with a Walkman on

I know you’re gonna play me when you get wind

I heard you’re full of shit so I’ve been duped again

But if you cover your ass with the same old song

You might as well be farting farting with a Walkman on

Give me a fuckin’ break

Farting with a Walkman on

Farting with a Walkman on

Farting with a Walkman on

Farting with a Walkman on

Bloodhound Gang It’s Tricky

This beat is my recital

I think it’s very vital

To rock a rhyme

That’s right on time

It’s tricky tricky yo here we go

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme that’s right on time

It’s tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme that’s right on time

It’s tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

I met this little girlie, her hair was kind of curly

Went to her house to bust her out, I had to leave real early

These girls are really sleazy, all they just say is please me

Or spend some time and rock a rhyme, I said it’s not that easy

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme that’s right on time

It’s tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme that’s right on time

It’s tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

In New York the people talk and try to make us rhyme

They really hawk, but we just walk, because we have no time

And in the city it’s a pity, ’cause we just can’t hide

Tinted windows don’t mean nothing, they know who’s inside

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme that’s right on time

It’s tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme that’s right on time

It’s tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

When I wake up people take up mostly all of my time

I’m not singing, phone keep ringing so I make up a rhyme

I’m not bragging, people nagging, ’cause they think I’m a star

Always tearing what I’m wearing, I think they’re going too far

A girl named Tara follows Jared every gig we play

Evil dissed her and dismissed her, now she’s jocking Spanky

I ain’t lying, girls be crying, ’cause we’re on TV

They even bother my poor father, ’cause he’s down with me

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme that’s right on time

It’s tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme that’s right on time

It’s tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

We are not dumb, we don’t use drugs, but you assume on your own

They offer coke and lots of dope, but we just leave it alone

It’s like that y’all, but we don’t quit

You keep on, rock shot, ’cause this is it.

Bloodhound Gang No Rest For The Wicked

I Get Bombed Much Like Pearl Harbor

The Price Is White Right And I’m Bob Barker

This Is Your Brain On Drugs

This Is Your Brain On Jackie Onassis

All You Crotch Goblins Can Kiss Our Asses

Yes Siree Bob Like Corn On The Cob

I’m All Buttered Up Ready To Hob Nob

Daddy Is A Kraut Your Nazi-Occupied France

I’m Gonna Rise To The Occasion Inside My Pants

So Yo Ass Yea You I Want To Fraggle Rock Your Girlie

Coming Around The Party Coming Around Like Mr. Furley

I’m Mr. Furley You’re Jack Tripper

You’re Dumb Ass Gilligan And I’m The Skipper

Tiptoe Through My Tulips And Come And Frolic

Cause My Name Is Betty Ford And She’s An Alcoholic

So Here I Am Rock Me Like A Hurricane

Not A Scorpion But My Sting Will Bring Your Dame A Lot Of Pain

And Daddy¹S Gonna Tell Ya I¹M As Cool As Jack The Ripper

Somewhat Of A Cut-Throat But Still A Big Tipper

As I Tickle You Pink I Bet My Fingers Start To Stink

I’m What’s Missing From Your Life And You’re The Missing Link

It Doesn’t Matter How You Win Or Lose It’s How You Lick It….

No Rest For The Wicked

Get Down Drink It Up Bring It On Take It Off

Flips It Up In The Air Like My Name Was Bob Barker

I Always Kicks It Cold So I Gotta Wear My Parka

I’m Leaving Down My Marker I’m Stalking Like A Stalker

Using The Force Like My Name Was Luke Skywalker

Left Hand¹S On The Wheel And The Right One On The Bottle

One Foot In The Grave And The Other On The Throttle

I’m Floating Through Your Atmosphere Like The Comet Haley¹S

As Freaky As A Freak Show Call Me Barnum And Bailey

So Yo Ho My Cheerio Here I’m Coming Around The Bend

Don’t Try To Shake My Hand I’m Not Your Fucking Friend

Bodyslam Ya To The Ground Like I Was Captain Lou Albano

Hit Ya In The Balls Till You’re Singing Soprano

Slide To The Dance Floor Groove Til You Get Sore

Listen To The Tiger’s Roar I’ll Pump You Like A Seesaw

I’m A Tattooed Demon Do You Catch My Meaning

Think That You’re Dreaming But Soon You’ll Be Screaming

I Got More Senseless Violence Than A Thriller In Manila

Like My Hero Gacy I¹M A Stone Cold Killer

I Got My Moves From Thriller I¹M Fish You¹Re Barney Miller

Spreading Out The Carnage Like Mechagodzilla

Like Jimmy Pop Says He’s As Cool As Jack The Ripper

So Take Off Your Panties And I¹Ll Kick Off My Slippers

Do As I Say And I Will Be A Big Tipper

More Smooth Moves Than My Man Jack Tripper

Get Down Drink It Up Bring It On Take It Off