Crywank Care Not For Your Clubnights

Indoctrinated into a tribe of the musically unkind

Where the pretence of a scene can overrule a fragile mind

Until a boxticking system closes doors to outside

I mean you’ll look pretty cool but a part of you will die

And when I say you look cool I mean only to your friends

The general opinion is you act like a bellend

Your arrogance is based on a personal preference

And that preference is based on your scene’s consensus

Masses with the live for the weekend mentality

Caught up with the illusion of individuality

Care not for your clubnights, the fake alternative

You’re just another group of youths goin’ out and gettin’ pissed

I am the guy stood against the wall at the clubs

Watching dollies and peacocks dance and get drunk

And when the chorus kicks in, they all sing along

And I watch their mouths fade away while they all get the verses wrong

I’m not saying I’m any better

I fall for the same traps as well

But at least, at least I can admit it

At least I can admit that I’m boring as hell

Crywank Obsessive Muso With No Friends

One more night alone in my room

Listening to music I think makes me cool

It’s not cool being lonely, not cool being cold

Not cool being someone you wouldn’t want to know

Now my room stinks like shit

I’ve been in here too long

Dwelling on lines in other people’s songs

Saying, “Yes, this is me

Your lyrics break through”

But I don’t deserve the lines I relate to

Crywank Roll-On Deoderant

Well I’m your roll on deodorant honey

Put me under your arm

I’m not stingy like a jellyfish so I won’t do you no harm

Well I’m your roll on deodorant baby

I’m specialist goo

You can buy me from a superstore and roll me all over you

Well I’m your roll on deodorant hubby

I’m like a small bald man

I’m an antiperspirant that does not come in a can

Well I’m your roll on deodorant darling

And I smell artificial

I’m a dangerous nuclear weapon, I’m a super fragrant missile

I spent 3 weeks in a factory and 4 days on a shelf

And now I’m on your dresser for the foreseeable future

I spent 3 weeks in a factory and 4 days on a shelf

And now I’m on your dresser for the foreseeable future

Well I’m your roll on deodorant sexy

Silky fine to the touch

Soft and squishy like a teddy bear or a reservoir of pus

Well I’m your roll on deodorant poo poo

Kestrel for a knave

I’m a never-ending worm squiggling through a rave

I spent 3 days in a factory and 4 weeks on a shelf

And now I’m on your dresser for the foreseeable future

I spent 3 days in a factory and 4 weeks on a shelf

And now I’m on your dresser for the foreseeable future

Well I’m your roll on deodorant pal

And I’m all inclusive

I’ve got full control of your mind but I promise I won’t abuse it

Yeah I got you a present, can you guess it? It’s me!

I’m roll on deodorant and I’m gonna roll all over your body

La la la la factory

La la la la shelf

La la la la… foreseeable future

La la la la factory

La la la la shelf

La la la la… foreseeable future

Crywank I Am A Familiar Creak In Your Floorboards

Doing nothing to substitute self-gratification

I climax with a sigh

Distance myself from all conversation

Where is my mind?

I know it’s annoying when my head drifts away

I convince myself I’m moronic

And I guess that might be true

When nothing compares to something platonic

If you want me to go, you know I will

If you want me to go, you know you don’t

If you want me to go, you know I will

If you…

Crywank Chuck & Buck, Suck & Fuck!

I miss everything, even my milk teeth

From before I got overwhelmed by discourse

If my deciduous years are an apéritif

Then shit is my main course

So I have nothing more to give

Now I am scared of narrative

Let me stay still now

Now I have nothing more to do

Than just remain inside my room

Leave me alone now

Crywank 18

Waiting for someone to tolerate me

Hanging around ’cause I can’t leave this cat behind

In nine lives, if I haven’t found something to hold on to

Why worry? Nobody I care for will be around

The only emotion that I can convey when I contemplate my life

Is an uncompromising flush of uncertainty

Which is caused by a combination of lack of self respect

And an overwhelming lack of company

So I will share my bed with phantom limbs, and live my life in tidy rooms

Surround myself with living things that don’t know how to move

I am like cigarettes and steak and booze, obesity and stress

Everyone with a bad heart will blame me for their mess

My life story’s just a clip show

Filled with long drawn out scenes of plug holes

Crywank You Couldn’t Teach Me Integrity

There’s a likely chance that if you’re a girl I’ve met

I’ve imagined a life with you

I know that probably sounds obsessive

But that’s just what I do

I am desperate, like a praying atheist

I need love, I need affection, and I hate myself for this

Get over yourself, I say under my breath

When I get annoyed by the thoughts in my head

I don’t deserve to say I’m sad, I don’t know what sadness is

I’m nothing more than complaints from a dumb spoilt kid

I crave love, I crave attention

And I hate myself for this

I’m embarrassed by my depression

When I put things in perspective

Crywank Fuck You Dan

As hope seems to be fading

My friends they turn to magic

Hopeless is my life-force

I bask in all that is tragic

No spell can save me now for I do not want to be saved

I manifest my enemies, will I manifest an early grave?

Crywank Nostril Tampon

Oh man, am I bleeding from my nose again?

I swear this happens every month; Mum and Dad, they hooked me up

Oh man is this thing rubber or plastic?

Or maybe a dead guy’s; is that why it doesn’t grow?

Oh mum, I know you only wanted boys

Can I feel it through my ballsack?

I can feel it in my nose

Oh mum, I know you only wanted boys

Can I feel it through my ballsack?

I can feel it in my nose

There is a line from my ovaries to my sinuses

And this thing on my front just disguises

My mother’s insecurities

Young girls makes her feel old

Oh mum, I know you only wanted boys

Can I feel it through my ballsack?

I can feel it in my nose

Crywank Welcome To Castle Irwell

I woke up this morning wanting to cry

And when I called her, I realised why

Although she was honest, she spoke with a cold tongue

I broke down in the courtyard when it came to light

She broke every promise in the space of one night

She made me hate this city, immediately

I thought she was something else

But as it turns out she was just someone else

And there were four questions I wanted to ask

Do you love him yet? Do you think it will last?

Were you wearing the pants I bought you?

Do you ever think he thought you resembled me in some way?

A boy left to break

Spent two years together, I thought I made her better

All my best friends told me I should forget her

But I never could, I thought that I should

I need to stop thinking about the things I’ll never do again

And just be glad I did them, and I’m so glad I did them

First love does not mean best love

And best friends may not mean best friends forever

But they both mean at some point, somewhere, someone did care

And their memory’s still there

I know she was special, I know she was good

I know she wasn’t flawless but I know I was loved

I know she had passion, I know she was kind

So why should ending alter my state of mind?

And although I find it hard to relive her

I know that I would always forgive her

She says no regrets, and I say don’t forget