Defeater Pillar Of Salt

Nights chasing ghosts, asleep in the pews.

Vacant and still, your arm in a noose.

Pillar of salt, we can never look back.

The lies we have led, we are cursed in our past.

We are cursed in our past.

We are cursed in our death.

A penance paid for in blood.

The guilt staining my hands.

My lover stolen from me.

Thieving Father be damned.

No mercy on me.

Myself and sins I detest.

Devil lying in wait collecting his debts.

No hope. No hope.

Communion of saints, of bread, body and wine.

Quiet and still, drinking me dry.

God left here long ago, heavy lies a thorned crown.

In pride and in spite, no faith to be found.

We are cursed in our past.

We are cursed in our death.

A penance paid for in blood.

The guilt staining my hands.

My lover stolen from me.

Thieving Father be damned.

No mercy on me.

Myself and sins I detest.

Devil lying in wait collecting his debts.

Collecting his debts.

Collecting his debts.

No mercy on me.

Myself and sins I detest.

Devil lying in wait collecting his debts.

No hope. No hope.

Defeater Prophet In Plain Clothes

He walks the streets collar up to the snowfall.

Holes in pockets and knees.

Sleeps in bar rooms and horse stalls.

But you can’t stay too long in one place.

“move along kid, we don’t like your face.”

Mother’s hold children close out of fear.

Father’s curse under breath as they sneer.

And he walks the streets, years pass by with the snowfall.

Time is wasted in drink,

Days begging and lost souls.

Holds no merit in vagrants in boxcars.

Down in hell you best know who your friends are.

“not so proud scrounging for your next meal.

No alibis sold when with devils you deal.

How does it feel

How does it feel

How does it feel

How does it feel to be all alone with no direction?

Home’s never home,

It’s just the place where you came from.

Home’s never home,

It’s just the place where you came from.

Home’s never home,

It’s just the place where you came from.

Home’s never home,

Writ on walls of the church and the hostels.

“home is never home,” said by martyrs and lost souls.

“home is never home,” said the prophet in plain clothes

As he strummed his guitar. and he screamed, and he sang.

“we’ll I’ve been tired

Cause’ I don’t sleep so well on trains

Well I got ups and downs

But days are all the same

I’ve been low

But it never gets me down

Well I’ve been thrown out

I’ve been let down

I’ve been chased

Well I’ve hardships

I’ve been stripped of pride and name

I’ve been low

But it never gets me down

And nights spent drinking

All the worry from my head

And days spent wandering

Wishing I was dead

If I could only muster

The words out from my mouth

I would sing

Oh I would sing

I’ll take the next train out

Cause I’ve been hopin’

I’ve been praying theres some god

So when I die

I’m found and saved

And I’m not lost

Cause all he’s done

All for me

Is take away the ones I love

And nights spent drinking

All the worry from my head

And days spent wandering

Wishing I was dead

If I could only muster

The words out from my mouth

I would sing

Oh I would sing

I’ll take the next train out

I’m gonna take it”

Defeater Everything Went Quiet

Roll on through to the other side of town.

Passed the quarry, the river beds,

Over bridges and bunker sheds.

Roll on through to the pits and the rail car yard.

“this is where you prove your worth.”

A brother’s dare, that devil’s smirk.

“oh, this is the way it will always be.”

A kid brother in the shadows of a cold heart’s legacy.

“oh, this is where we see who runs first.

It’s you and me and the train.

The steel tracks and the dirt.

Oh, you can never live up to me.”

And so he stood trembling,

Waiting for smoke above the trees.

Roll on through. he could hear it rumbling,

He could feel it beneath his feet.

Roll on through.

“closer now, hold your ground.

Steadfast, ignore the sound.”

Oh

Everything went quiet

Just before the rush took over his head.

With the pull and the push of the engine,

Think back with the coal and the steam.

The racing thoughts, the questions,

The adolescent rivalry.

And with a nod from the elder,

The younger’s fear topples over.

Over rails and over timber.

“that’s no dodge, you fucking coward.”

And the train rolls on.

And the train rolls on

“yellow-belly go home.”

And the train rolls on.

Defeater Borrowed & Blue

Crows sing, early morning

Just before sunrise

Our night spent with the guilt

Until morning light

We share a cigarette, burdens and shame

Our lungs heavy in bliss

Our arms are sore from the weight

I may be a sinner

Forsaken and damned

Selfish and pride for the touch of her hand

Our lips speak in secrets

Our tongues lie in verse

Our hearts slow with the guilt

Our love, our only recourse

And we share a cigarette, burdens and shame

Our lungs heavy in bliss

Our arms are sore from the weight

I may be a sinner

Forsaken and damned

Selfish and pride for the touch of her hand

And I will hold you close with the ebb and flow

Though the tides may turn, we won’t

And I will hold you tight like an anchor line

Through the cruelest seas at night

And I will hold you close with the ebb and flow

While the tides may turn, we won’t

And I will hold you tight like an anchor line

Through the cruelest seas at night

We share a cigarette, burdens and shame

Our lungs heavy in bliss

Our arms are sore from the weight

I may be a sinner

Forsaken and damned

Selfish and pride for the touch of her hand

“Keep me like an old tune, something borrowed and blue

Bury me sound asleep beneath the boards in your room. I love you still and true. So watch me move at your will just like the tides for the moon.”

Defeater Moon Shine

“If you’re always running,

You ain’t no kind of man.

Face up your fears kid,

Fight for what you take stock in.

Out here on rolling hills,

There ain’t no alibis.

Only sweat and dirt,

Only that open sky.

F you take nothing more

Than these simple words,

With your head held high kid,

You will have your day.

You can leave hardened,

I won’t think twice of it.

If you got a battle back home,

You got no reason to stay.”

Out there on rolling hills,

He thought of days back home.

All the pain and hurt,

His mother praying alone.

Sleep never came for him,

No rest for wicked men.

In those starless skies,

The moon shined shame on him.

He found redemption in pale saints

That took him in.

His grey eyes,

Hopefulness,

That only youth can feel

Before life sours them.

“where you from, where you been?”

The boy would ask.

He could never answer,

It was the truth he lacked.

“I’m from nowhere kid, I’ve been to hell and back.

I’m a loner kid, I got no grace and no tact.”

He had nothing more than those simple words.

He was a runner and a coward

Always losing his way.

Till no sleep for him.

“I ain’t no wicked man.”

There would be no night like this for him ever again.

He would change his fate,

He would mend the breaks.

He left that night with parting words to lead his way.

“don’t you be like me.”

“don’t you be like me.”

“don’t you be like me.”

And so that moonlit sky shined praise down on him.

Defeater Waves Crash, Clouds Roll

Before work he would just sit on that dock and watch the ocean. Waiting for his little brother to come home so he could put a couple bullets in him, put him in the ground with the father he’d wronged. His hands hurt every day after towing those lines in- they cracked when the winters came. Every night he’d come home to his mother passed out because of the junk she put in her arm. He’d pick her up and lay her in bed, kiss her forehead and close the door. He hated seeing her like that. He knew the only reason she started on that stuff in the first place is because she couldn’t deal with how his father drank. But that ain’t no reason to hurt yourself. As the waves crash, the clouds roll. Sit on the dock waiting for the sun. Wait for the coward but he never comes. Pray for revenge on him. Steam rises as the boats come in, one by one. You know she is gone and there’s no saving her. Her cheating, her weak will, the addiction, that needle. When you come home to find her on the floor, you’re reminded of those sleepless nights that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Blue collar shipyard, any way to keep her alive. Sun up to sun down, blistered hands and a parched mouth.

Defeater Singin’ New York Town

My savior, this city,

My comfort, her pity

Or so I hoped.

My heartache, my hard luck,

My war time, my struggle

That no one knows.

In the alleys where I sleep

I beg and beg for the food I eat

All the pain and the hurt

In your gut where it burns

Every man here is just like me.

The wind blowing round the snow

Makes a man freeze straight to the bone

So I drink and drink and I try not to think

Of the people I lost at home

These six strings I’m playing

These songs I’m singing

Keep me alive.

These strangers

That curse me

The hero

They don’t see

Just waiting to die

I ain’t the man that I used to be

I feel the city as it’s crushing me

I am losing ground on these empty streets

New York town has got the best of me

The southern ground where my mama sleeps

She found death and she found peace

There’s an empty grave next to where she lay

That’s where I’m supposed to be.

I beg and I plead

For her god to hear me

He’s just a coward

Just a thief

I pray and I pray

For him to answer me

I hear nothing

I hear nothing

I beg and I plead

For her god to hear me

I hear nothing

Nothing

Defeater Cemetary Walls

After she was in the ground, he didn’t know what to do. He still towed those lines at work, he still took care of his mother, but nothing was the same. He had lost everything. So he did what they always used to, go sit at their booth at the Copper Coin. Now it was just him, alone. Now he would just get blind drunk, hop the gates to the cemetery and just sit and talk to her. Climb those cemetery walls again; leave these flowers at your headstone. Climb those cemetery walls again, every night; you can’t stand the sight of yourself. “Now that you’re gone, what am I to do? But get lost in this bottle thinking of you.” You drink until you’re sick. “I trace the grooves in your stone.” Plot where you’ll bury him, the man that left you alone. You drink until you’re sick, and feel the dew in the grass. As the sun’s coming up, watch a funeral pass. You think to yourself, “That should have been me.” Two in the family plot, when you wish it were three.”

Defeater Cowardice

“there’s no place for me.”

A man of nowhere,

A man of black heart

From the dead end streets.

“regret runs through me.

I am no one, I am nothing,

I am a man of defeat. what’s left for me?

Whats left for me?”

He thought of those open roads,

His mother praying alone,

That vagrant anthem and the field sung hymns,

The cowardice forever following him.

“what’s left, what’s left for me?

The world has turned it’s back on me.

There’s no place for me.”

A sullen walk to the chapel stairs.

“regret runs through me.”

A hard pull on that white oak door

To face up those fears.

There’s no place for me

“what brings you here my son?”

“I’ve been a horrible man.

I killed my father, I killed my brother,

I left my mother in your god’s hands.

“clasp your hands and count your sins.

Kneel at the pew till the sermon begins.

“no judgment cast down this day, will set you free.

You are forgiven my son,

You are blessed and redeemed.

You’ve found absolution here son, but only from me.”

“what’s left, what’s left for me?”

A sullen walk to the steeple top

To look over the city.

He carves his name in that old brass bell,

So when it rings he can hear it in hell.

One last look to that western sky,

One last wish he could have changed his life.

“I ain’t, ain’t no wicked man.”

He let his fleet slip from under him.

Unwanted.

Defeater Bled Out

I feel the distance in your letters sent

I left my family for the trenches

You’ve got me worried about leaving

You’ve got your needle, I’ve got my demons

You’ve got me homesick, I feel like slipping

I feel the cold hand of death is creeping

He took my brother to the ocean floor

I beg but death don’t come, that fucking coward

I’d give me life for his, what could I have done differently?

Bled out and failed him, he never would have done that to me

Let me keep sinking

Let me keep drowning

I am no one

I am nothing

I feel the distance in your letters sent

(I feel the distance)

I left my family for the trenches

(I am desperate)

You’ve got me worried about leaving

(Got me homesick)

You’ve got your needle, I’ve got my demons

(I am hopeless)

And all I see is the bastard in me [x18]