Dethklok Birthday Dethday

Many years ago today something grew

inside of your mother…

That thing was you

YOU

YOU YOU YOU YOU

Did she scream did she cry

Only those that are born are the ones that

Get to die

One more year closer to dying

Rotting organs ripping grinding

Biological discordance

Birthday equals self abhorrence

Years keep passing aging always

Mutate into vapid slugs

Doctor gives a new prescription

Bullet in a fucking gun

One more year closer to dying

Plastic surgeons fuel the lying

You forget why you came in here

Your mind rots with every New Year

RSVP PLEASE

For the DETH of thee

You have little time

And you’re running out of life

Happy Birthday

You’re gonna die

Now you’re old and full of hatred

Take a pill to masturbated

Children point to you and scream

Because they will become that thing

One more year of further suffering

There’s no point of fucking bluffing

Open up your DETHDAY present

It’s a box of fucking nothing

RSVP PLEASE

For the DETH of thee

You have little time

And you’re running out of life

Happy Birthday

You’re gonna die

DIE DIE

DETHDAY

BIRTHDAY

DETHDAY

DIE DIE

DETHDAY

BIRTHDAY

DETHDAY

RSVP PLEASE

For the DETH of thee

You have little time

And you’re running out of life

Happy Birthday

You’re gonna die

You’re running out of life

Dethklok Abigail’s Lullaby

[ABIGAIL]

Don’t be scared my little friend.

I am here with you.

Things have gotten so bad.

But I am here with you.

We’ll most likely die.

They’ll pull off our skin.

They’ll poke out our eyes.

They’ll play in our blood.

Be cannibalized.

They’ll bath us in acid.

They’ll chew through our brains.

They’ll chop up our guts and cut up our veins.

But close your eyes. Drift away.

Dream into your happy place.

Remember the finest moments in your life.

It’s your power and your strength.

Your happy place.

Go there now. Now. Go. Go there now.

Dethklok Awaken

Musta-Krakish,

Musta-Krakish,

The time has come, to awaken him.

I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld,

To bring forth this beast and,

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,

Take the land, that must be taken.

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,

Devour worlds, smite forsaken

Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep,

Break forth from your grave eternally.

I command you to rise, rise, rise, rise,

rise, rise, rise, rise.

I’m the conjurer of demons,

I’m the father of your death.

I bring forth the ancient evil,

I control his every breath.

I instigate your misfortune,

With the birth of killing trolls.

I awaken armageddon,

Feeding on a thousand souls.

Awaken,

Awaken,

Awaken,

Awaken,

[Solo]

Musta-Krakish, (musta)

Musta-Krakish, (musta)

Musta-Krakish, (musta)

Musta-Krakish, (musta),

Musta-Krakish, (musta)

Musta-Krakish, (musta)

Musta-Krakish, (musta)

Musta-Krakish, (musta)

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,

Take the land, that must be taken.

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,

Devour worlds, smite forsaken

Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep,

Break forth from your grave eternally.

Weak will die and land will all be burned

Musta-Krakish king and death to worlds.

I command you to

Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise,

Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise,

And awaken.

Dethklok Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle

Do You Folks Like Coffee?

Real Coffee,

From the Hills Of Colombia?

The Duncan Hills awake you

From A Thousand Deaths.

A Cup Of blackened Blood.

(Die, Die)

You’re Dying For A Cup.

Guatemala Blend,

Ethiopian,

French Vanilla Roast.

(Die, Die)

You’re Dying For A Cup.

Prepare For Ultimate Flavor!

You’re Gonna Get Some… now

And Scream… For Your Cream

[Solo]

Duncan Hills,

Duncan Hills,

Duncan Hills Coffee.

Dethklok Face Fisted

I am be dangerous now

Not me hurt

When stairs fell down

Me pushed by you

Me hit head

Me nose broke

Soon you be dead

Soon you be dead

So strong my face is

You punch break fingers

Kick me you’re limping

Stab me you’re bleeding

I am be angerous now

You throwing rock at me

Hit eye and it no hurt me

I’m strong

You’re not

You’re not

I’m making time for fighting

I’m clearing time for hitting

We’ll meet and I will beat you

Our schedules permitting

I pick out fighting outfit

Don’t want my pants too tight

Need clothes to breath to beat you

You’ll be beaten down tonight

I’m so fucking tough

I’m so fucking tough

That’s right

I’m so fucking tough

I’m so fucking tough

That’s right

You’re an ugly man

You’re as dumb as sand

Your mom’s fucking fat

Your mom blew a rat

You are a mistake

You have sex with cake

You think you’re so tough

You’re a living bluff

I will put you down

I will make you drown

I will make you bleed

I am filled with speed

I cannot feel pain

I might be insane

I am victory

I write history

Feel my fist

On your face

You hate this

I feel great

One, two, three, four

Five, six, seven, eight

One, two, three, four

Five, six, seven, eight

So strong my face is

You punch break fingers

Kick me you’re limping

Stab me you’re bleeding

I am be furious now

You say the bad word at me

You pull a string and trip me

I fall down

You run

You run

I am making time for fighting

I think it’s time to beat you

I think it’s good decision

That I destroy and teach you

You put on very fast shoes

And try to run away

I’m very strong and fast though

You’re going down today

You’re so fucking weak

I’m so fucking strong

That’s right

You’re so fucking weak

I’m so fucking strong

That’s right

You’re so fucking weak

I’m so fucking strong

That’s right

You’re so fucking weak

I’m so fucking strong

That’s right

Dethklok Rejoin

Blind men escape from the sky, condemned, the klok counts down!

The ghost that’s still alive infests your mind with fog!

Venom spearing!

Spells adhering!

Sweating, fearing,

Madness takes you down!

Down!

Man dies he was stricken with a scepter

In his hands congregations gripped

Foretold of the world’s destruction

Blackened acid leaking from his lips

Night raven casts alarming shadows

Dwellers hide fearing ending times

A sharpened trident blessed by elder wizards

Not enough to quell the deth tonight!

Black cloud!

Countdown!

Oceans blood!

Beasts drown!

Lights dim!

Moon dies!

Earth’s heart leaks life!

They bow!

Spare us of our sins

Spare us of our sins

Spare us of our sins

Too late now!

The end it must begin

The story it has been

Alive within your skin

Bargain!

Sacrifice our tribe

One will give their life

The youngest virgin soul

Deny!

The frenzied panicking

Slaying our own king

Anarchistically

Chaos!

The screaming coward filth

The family blood is spilled

Too scared to know the guilt

Farewell!

The ending must arrive

The locusts come to thrive

No one will survive

Fire streams sear through the night, the demons bastard’s rabid!

The outstretched wings will dive, entrap the weakened souls!

Climbing through the sky, the warriors are charging!

The last sight known to man, while the planet burns!

Venom spearing!

Spells adhering!

Sweating, fearing,

Madness takes you down!

Rejoin

It’s darker this time

Conclude it all!

Rejoin

It’s darker this time

Conclude it all!

Dethklok The Fans Are Chatting

[DETHKLOK MINUTE HOST]

Though Dethklok hasn’t performed in a very long while.

A big show is coming up which will be just in time

because people around the world have been very concerned

about the lack of Toki Wartooth in the press world.

He hasn’t been seen in public, where could he be?

The band released a statement:

[CFO]

He’s fine don’t worry about Toki.

[DETHKLOK MINUTE HOST]

Well he’s okay and we’ll see when they play.

That’s the Dethklok minute. Have a great day.

[FANS]

He’s been out of the public eye.

We’re worried we’ll be denied.

One fifth of our favorite band.

We’re the power. We’re the fans.

We want answers. Where’s Toki? Where’s Toki?

We want answers. Where is the man?

[FANS (CONT’D)]

We’re going online we’re gonna get to the bottom of this.

Going online gunna get to the bottom of this.

[FAT FAN]

I heard a rumor from my roommate Matt

that he can’t play guitar because he got too fat.

[WEIRD FACE FAN]

I heard Toki’s at a rehab place

because he did so many drugs that

he melted his face.

[FAN THAT LOOKS LIKE A LIZARD]

I heard he’s getting plastic surgery done.

They’re putting in horns and cleaving his tongue.

[BALD FAN]

I heard he’s gone cause his hair went away.

They’re putting in transplants now he’s totally gay.

[FANS 1]

You’re gay!

[FANS 2]

You’re gay!

[FANS 1]

You’re gay!

[FANS 2]

You’re gay!

[MAGNUS]

You are all wrong you don’t know the whole story.

Toki’s been kidnapped with the girl by some men.

Oh Dethklok could save them but they can’t be bothered.

These cowards may never see their Toki again!

Dethklok doesn’t care about their best friends.

They could be responsible for their death!

[NATHAN]

It’s good to be here tonight!

Lemme hear ya!

[CROWD]

[screams]

[NATHAN]

And on rhythm guitar Mr Toki Wartooth!!

[Hologram of Toki is glitching and fans see there is no Toki]

[CROWD]

Boooo!!!

[FANS]

We want Toki back! [8x]

[NATHAN]

Oh my god they’re leaving the show.

[PICKLES]

We don’t want our fans to go!

[NATHAN]

I think I know what I must do…

People of the world I want you to know.

Toki! We’re coming to save you!

Dethklok Murdertrain A Comin’

Here comes the soul collecting train of murder a-comin’

It longs to take your putrid blackened soul away from you

Your face will leave your rotting head, in the early morning

Your guts will leave your corpse, your spine will break and crack in two

It cannot be stopped

The train is fueled by chopped bodies

Filled with sorrow

There is no tomorrow

Ticket is your life

Ended by a knife

Called the murder train

Eternity of pain

Oh yeah, you know what I’m talking about

There is no escape but death

Your life is just

A murder train a-comin

[NATHAN:] Alright, you ready Skwisgaar?

[SKWISGAAR:] Yeah

[NATHAN:] Now play me some blues

[SKWISGAAR:] Here goes nothings

[Solo]

I’ve never been so depressed as I am right now’s

I’s really ams playings the blues!

How about a little bit of this?

Oh yeah

You know it

Mashed

Potato is to feel behind this

Yeah

[MASHED POTATO JOHNSON:] OK. You, you hold on for one. Hold on for one second

[SKWISGAAR:] Hey, look, it’s Mashed Potato Johnson

[TOKI:] Oh, don’t leave, how is it going Mashed Potatoes

[PICKLES:] Hey Mashed Potato Johnson

[MASHED POTATO JOHNSON:] Hi boys. I thought you might have forgotten about good ole Mashed Potato Johnson

[PICKLES:] Dude, no way

[TOKI:] Ha ha ha, we didn’t forget abouts yous

[MASHED POTATO JOHNSON:] I was listening to your playing Skwisgaar

[SKWISGAAR:] Yeah?

[MASHED POTATO JOHNSON:] And I think you’ve might, you might’ve forgotten a couple lessons about the blues

[SKWISGAAR:] So, who cares?

[MASHED POTATO JOHNSON:] Now listen to this

Haah Yeaheah Boo Boo Di Di

Yeaheah Boo Boo Hehe

[SKWISGAAR:] AH Grands pa’s guitar

[TOKI:] Ah ah, grands pa’s guitar

[MASHED POTATO JOHNSON:] I’ve seen hate, I got blues. And I’m Mashed Potato Johnson, oh yeah.

Alright boys, you know what you’re doing

I’m gonna let myself out of here, DETHKLOK RULES

Here comes the soul collecting train of murder a-comin’

It longs to take your putrid blackened soul away from you

Your face will leave your rotting head, in the early morning

Your guts will leave your corpse, your spine will break and crack in two

It cannot be stopped

The train is fueled by chopped bodies

Filled with sorrow

There is no tomorrow

Ticket is your life

Ended by a knife

Called the murder train

Eternity of pain

[MURDERFACE:] Hey, was that Mashed Potato Johnson back there?

[NATHAN:] Yeah, it was

[MURDERFACE:] I should’ve said hi

[NATHAN:] Yeah

There is no escape but death

Your life is just

A murder train a comin’

[MASHED POTATO JOHNSON:] This is the most depressing thing I ever heard in my entire life. Good work, boys!