Rhett & Link The First Comment Song

Sittin’ there, staring at your screen

And a new video pops up in your feed

You know exactly what this means

Open it up but don’t watch it

Scroll down really quick and comment

You typed first

You’re the first to comment on this video

Now everybody knows

You typed first

Could of said something a little bit intelligent but no

That’s the word you chose-

You typed first

You’ve been under the 301+ club before

But this means so much more-

You’ve unlocked the first comments door

Everybody’s gonna see you

And everybody’s gonna wanna be you

You typed first

You’re the first to comment on this video

Now everybody knows

You typed first

Could of said something a little bit intelligent but no

That’s the word you chose-

You typed first…

Hold on we just refreshed the video

And there’s some news we need to break

You typed first-

But some other people had the same idea also

You were actually 28th

But you typed first…

You typed first…

You typed first…

You and 63 other people-

You typed first

Rhett & Link Facebook Song

[Rhett and Link:]

I wouldn’t call myself a social butterfly

And there’s not much that separates me from the other guy

But when I login I begin to live

There’s an online world where I am king

Of a little website dedicated to me

With pictures of me and a list of my friends

And an unofficial record of the groups that I’m in

Before the internet friendship was so tough

You actually had to be in peoples presence and stuff

Who would’ve thought that with a point and a click

I could know that Hope Floats is your favorite flick (Harry Connick Jr.?)

[Hook:]

Facebook (Facebook)

I’m Hooked on Facebook

I used to meet girls hanging out at the mall, now I just wait for them to write on my wall

Its more than a want, it’s more than a need

I’d shrivel up and die without my mini-feed

Take a look (You’re Hooked) on Facebook

[Rhett:]

Oh Link’s status changed

It says he’s playing the recorder

[Rhett and Link:]

How do you know this person?

Did you hook up with this person?

Do you need to request confirmation?

Or did you just think they looked cute from their picture on Facebook?

If the internet crashed all across the land

Or my Facebook account was deleted by the man

I’d carry around a picture of my face

And a summary of me typed out on a page

[Hook]

Rhett & Link Burrito Sunshine

The filling inside gives me a feeling inside

I think I could really go for a burrito

Yeah, I think that would be neat-o

There’s a place not too far

Heard it’s got four and a half stars

On Yelp?

No, on my Uncle Roger’s blog

He’s a food blogger?

Yeah, you haven’t heard?

My Uncle Roger’s a food blogger

Check him out at W-W-W dot Uncle Roger’s food blog dot com

W-W-W dot Uncle Roger’s food blog dot com

If I could just find my left shoe we’d be on our way

But apparently my left shoe has been misplaced

No, it’s right here

(It’s your right shoe, whatever)

Look at us walkin’ with two shoes on each

I never knew two shoes could make my feet feel so complete, ah

(Here we are at the highly-rated restaurant, wearing shoes)

Through the pick-up window

Emerges my burrito

Four food groups, one tortilla

Coming together like reverse Pangea

Now I’m basking in burrito sunshine

(I’m basking in the beams of light)

Just relaxing in burrito sunshine

(My throat’s a burrito waterslide)

The filling inside gives me a feeling inside [x4]

Burrito sunshine

(It’s as if I’ve just eaten a brick)

Rhett & Link Space Junk

We’ve got the greatest job on earth

And we’re not even on earth

We’re orbiting the world, you see

Collecting space debris

Expended rockets, expired satellites

Circling the globe, endangering space flight.

We’re the guys cleaning up the mess

Putting astronauts family’s fears to rest.

You wouldn’t believe the premium on my life insurance policy

Even a paint chip would take off my arm travelling at orbital velocity

Collecting space junk, space waste, space stuff

We make it safe for shuttles to fly

We’re trash men, weightless trash men!

Cleaning up the crap you left behind

We got hit by Soviet trash last year

From the cosmonauts on MIR

– but our worst memory was when we

We’re sprayed by frozen pee

Here’s some old bag of toiletries

What’s in it? sunscreen and hydrocortisone cream

And the ashes of Gene Roddenberry

Ah! Tom Hanks script from Apollo 13!

You wouldn’t believe the premium on my life insurance policy

Even a toenail would cut off my head travelling at orbital velocity

Collecting space junk, space waste, space stuff

Living the cosmic custodian life.

We’re trash men, weightless trash men!

Scouring space…while trying not to die!

Rhett & Link Christmas Face

[All:]

For everything there’s a time and a place

at Christmas time that place is your

[Hannah (Grace):]

He’s got a face

(yeah)

what’s he gonna do with that face

[“Link” Rhett (Hannah):]

“She’s got a face”

(Hello)

what’s he gonna do with that face

[Hannah and (Grace):]

(He’s got a face)

what’s he gonna do with that face

[“Rhett” Link (Grace):]

“She’s got a face”

(Ding)

what’s he gonna do with that face

[All:]

For everything there’s a time and a place

at Christmas time that place is your face

[Hannah (Grace) “Link”:]

Ooh, he looks so good

(He’s like a Christmas stud)

I bet he bleeds reindeer blood

“Oh you’re talking about my Christmas face”

[Rhett (Link) “Hannah”:]

Feliz Navi Dang!

(That face bangs!)

I bet she knows a lotta Christmas slang

“It’s my muthafruitcakin’ Christmas face”

[Grace (Hannah) “Rhett”:]

Ho Ho Ho-ld up

(I hear he roasts his own chestnuts)

I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen a chestnut

“Oh I’ve got one right here in my Christmas face”

[Link (Rhett) “Grace”:]

What the elf…

(has she done to herself?)

“I just ate a skier”

“Deal with it”

[All:]

For everything there’s a time and a place

at christmas time that place is your face

[All:]

For everything there’s a time and a place

at Hanukkah time that place is your face

[All:]

For everything there’s a time and a place

at Kwanzaa time that’s your kwanzaa

That’s your Hanukkah

That’s your Christmas Face

Rhett & Link Dead iPod Song

Within every electronic device

There lies a seed

Dormant and waiting to be

Released

Somewhere between eighteen months and two years

It will sprout

And begin to choke the life out

And if you’ve got an iPod,

You know exactly what we’re talking about

You pressed the power button

And what happened was nothin’

iTunes won’t even see it

Now you wish you’d warranted it

The Doom Seed has germinated

Your iPod shall not be recessitated

Now you gotta figure out whatcha gon do with your dead iPod

Write a eulogy and bury it in your backyard

Even though it’s broke you can pretend like it’s not

To avoid conversation with strangers at the bus stop

Use it as a weapon if you’re being attacked-

You know what, on second thought, scratch that

Tape it to your body

Call it a bod-switch

Put it in a hoagie

Call it an iPod-wich

A paper weight is lame unless

There’s a fan on your desk,

And even in that case

A man hole cover works best

Or keep it simple ’cause less is more;

Put it in a shoebox in the back of a drawer

Then 50 years from today

Your grandkids will find it and say:

“You listened to music on this? You mean when you were a kid,

you didn’t have music uploaded directly to your brain!?”

And you’ll say “Naw, we just had iPods.”

Rhett & Link Down With America

We’ve gone east, west, north and south

But now this country needs to go down

We got a high callin’ for adventure

And high dollar hiking boots

Bringing highly refined culture

With knives that stab and guns that shoot (pew)

In search of unspoiled land

For unspoiled men to claim

Just because it’s beneath us

Doesn’t mean it’s beneath us to say

Down with America! Dig down, dig down

A new world underneath us, yep, that’s where we’re bound

Down with America! Dig down, dig down

Claimin’ our manifest destination underneath the ground

We’ll poke and probe mother earth

And hope somethin’ turns up

But no matter what we unearth

We’ll find a way to make it burn up

If there’s people livin’ down there

We’ll show ’em we’re not jerks

We’ll learn ’em all how to dress proper

And put ’em straight to work

Down with America! Dig down, dig down

Scrapin’ out every last ounce of the treasures to found

Down with America! Dig down, dig down

We’re doin’ our part, leaving our mark from the inside-out

Rhett & Link Song For When No Toilet Paper

I’ve been on this John for way too long playing Candy Crush

But before my legs fall completely asleep I’d better finish up and flush

So without even looking I reach over to grab a few TP squares

But to my utter horror there ain’t no more squares there

I wonder if it would hurt if I used the cardboard paper roll

I’m pretty sure it’s do the job, but would it make it down the bowl?

And maybe the toilet brush could work, but those bristles look a little scary

And what about that embroided towel I got when I got married (she would never forgive me)

So I’m gon’ let it dry

Just let it be

Gonna let it dry-y-y

Like I’m a dog on a leash

And I’m gonna let it dry

Air it out in the breeze

I’m gonna let it dry-y-y

Like I’m a chimpanzee

I see a curling iron and some matches

But I can’t find cotton balls

There’s nail clippers and a plunger and a poster of Lionel Richie on the wall (he would never forgive me)

So I’m gon’ let it dry

Nobody has to know

Gonna let it dry-y-y

Like I’m a buffalo

I’m gonna let it dry

Like a bird in flight

Gonna let it dry-y-y

I’ll take a shower tonight

I’m gonna let it dry

I’ll take a shower tonight

I’m gonna let it dry

I’ll take a shower tonight

Rhett & Link Taylor Swift Caption Fail

Also part-time

Due respects to go

I was in your science

You got me at all

You fair homie

You plan on me

You ban only

The ee ee ee

Baby

An angel

Any snakes to me

In Armenia

One is only

I knew you were troubled when you walked in

So machine mommy now

Blooming depleted and never paying

Nanananana Cold War, NOW

Uh Uh

Couple, Couple, Couple

But scheme for action

I swear teacher

Steve cheer captain and…

In a model bleachers

Period up to date

When you wake up and find

Well they’re electing for days

Has been here the hometown

If you to stream to uh uh uh who understand you

Prepare all outlaw

So arcane teens singing

You’ve known with me

You’re a gnome with me

Sunday, I mean

Even in a pickle CD

And now you’re ever on the use

Of me

Lay out, B.B.

King enough so you can winging it

Belonged or airport bringing in Maine

Went out of the company

We’ll continue somewhere we could be a problem

Operated, all the stuff to do to Ron

You’ll be depressing out in the process

It’s a slow story, baby suggest yes

Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh

We caught up with the entire snag butt

Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh

There’s ten,

And Aaron you’re I’m giving wing

We are never ever hearing

In that together

Wayne me

Every ever never

Heating back hair

Yugo out to reinstall

To math brands tile domain

But we arm

Never ever ever

Hitting ant kidders

Rhett & Link Power Nap

A power nap gives you power

Give 20 minutes now

Get power for hours

You don’t put on your pants before you put on your drawers

You don’t wash your face after you wash your balls

You don’t watch Phantom Menace before Empire Strikes Back

And you don’t do important crap without taking a power nap

If you’re gonna do important crap

Then you better take a power nap first

You wanna know where the power’s at

It’s in the middle of a power nap, word

You don’t go seek before everybody hides

Or slide through a sliding door before you made it slide

You don’t eat your grapes before you go through check out

I did that once and got banned from Ralph’s

You don’t read Stephen King before R.L. Stein

You don’t pump the pump before the pump is primed

I don’t slip on my mankini before my bikini wax

And I don’t do important crap without taking a power nap

If you’re gonna do important crap

Then you better take a power nap first

You wanna know where the power’s at

It’s in the middle of a power nap, word

You don’t offer to pay before you’ve seen the check

You don’t tattoo your face before you tattoo your neck

You don’t send a text and then check the autocorrect

I once sent my mom a text that just said sex

You don’t taste the honey before you smoke the bees

You don’t get in the car before you cut the cheese

You don’t talk to Santa before you sit on his lap

And you don’t do important crap without taking a power nap

Power (power (power))

Power (power (power))

Power (power (power))

Power (power (power))