Tone Lōc Funky Cold Medina

Alright, dig it

[Verse 1:]

Cold coolin at a bar, and I’m lookin for some action

But like Mike Jagger said, I can’t get no satisfaction

The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me

My threads are fresh and I’m lookin def, yo, what’s up with L-o-c?

The girls is all jockin at the other end of the bar

Havin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I’m the star

So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina

I asked the guy, “Why you so fly?” he said, “Funky Cold Medina”

Funky Cold Medina

[Verse 2:]

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks

Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls’ll come real quick

It’s better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac

A couple of sips of this love potion, and she’ll be on your lap

So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg

Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg

He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner

But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina

You know what I’m sayin?

I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my door

I got Spuds McKenzie

Alex from Stroh’s

They won’t leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

[Verse 3:]

I went up to this girl, she said, “Hi, my name is Sheena”

I thought she’d be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina

She said, “I’d like a drink, ” I said, “Ehm – ok, I’ll go get it”

Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it

So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned

But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man

So I threw him out, I don’t fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener

You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina

You know, ain’t no plans with a man

This is the 80’s, and I’m down with the ladies

Ya know?

Break it down

[Verse 4:]

Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection

I took a shot as a contestant on “The Love Connection”

The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner

I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner

She had a few drinks, I’m thinkin soon what I’ll be gettin

Instead she started talkin ’bout plans for our weddin

I said, “Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I’ll be seein’ ya”

That’s why I found you don’t play around with the Funky Cold Medina

Ya know what I’m sayin

That Medina’s a monster, y’all

Funky Cold Medina

Tone Lōc Funky Westside

(Aw yeah, huh)

[Tone-Loc:]

(UH!) One-two, one-two…

Oh my God! Tone-Loc, where you been?

Oh, he back in the studio! HO-OH-oh-oh [laughs]

… Ohhh shhhit… It’s a miracle…

Hey, hey, whatcha gotta do, whatcha gotta do…

Check it out, holmes…

[Tone-Loc imitates a Jamaican rasta:]

BO-BO… Ladies and gentlemon… it is time for me to introduce to you

The grandmaster, the MC, that ‘oes from coast to coast

The gggrandwizard, The Man, The Myth, Tone Smith

But [?] known as, Tone-Loc!

Yo LOCO… I wan you to rip it up for ’em, mon!

Tell us what it’s all a-bout… rip it away from [?] bloodclots…

And do it for the westsyyyyde…

[Verse 1:]

I do believe the year was 1966

A young brother was brought up in the mix…

And ever since that day was born

Like a mother from a baby, he could never be torn

From the neighborhood that tardy so much

I’da hustle and chill, and surviving the clutch…

And if you didn’t know, I’m talkin’ ’bout the best side

Where the tribe reside on that Westside

This ain’t Bed-Stuy, but it’s like “Do or Die”

Contemplatin’ suicide to ride by

Homicides, and then it’s ova… (ova, ova…)

No rabbits for the four-leaf clover

Everything is everything, just mind yo’ buis-ness

And when I handle mine, I leave no witness

So when you’re walkin’, aim straight and keep goin’

The rhymes are gumblin’ and the tribe is still, flowin’

Fo’-deep in the G-ride… (G-ide, G-ride…)

Tryna make it, to the funky-ass Westside

To the funky-ass Westside (Westside, Westside…)

[Hook – Kenyatta:]

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-na-naaa-ahhha-aahh

C’mon! Lemme hear you say

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-naa-naaahh-ahhhh

[Verse 2:]

III remember the dayys, as a tee-ager

Before the hypeness, of a sky-pager…

It was “Happy Days, ” now “Who’s The Boss?”

Instead of The Shuffle, we was doin’ El Lacoss

And it was easy to catch a girl solo

Bust out the gigolo, but showed the polo

Before you thought we was coooold freakin’

BIG grindin’, dancin’ cheek to cheek and

Steal a kiss and you know I’m all excited!

Until the point where I can’t even hide it

And when you know, someone stepped on my shoe

And why they do that? And I done had too many blues

I tried, real hard, to stay cool and calm

He didn’t say, “Excuse me” so I had to BOMB

Lookin’ at his [?], I was only upset!

So I get, betta watch the step… (watch the step…)

On the funky-funky Westside… (Westside…)

It’s a funky-funky Westside

[Hook – Kenyatta:]

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-na-naaa-ahhha-aahh

C’mon! Lemme hear you say

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-naa-naaahh-ahhhh

[Tone-Loc over Hook:]

For the O.G.s’ and dawgs, know what I’m sayin’?

Fo’ the insanes… to all the rocks

To all the Locs’…

[Kenyatta:]

I-I-I-IIIIII shot the sher-IFF (Yeah I did…)

But I did not shoot no deputy… (Nah…)

Ohhh no, NOOOOOOO (I didn’t chalk him)

I said, III shot the sher-IFF (yeah, I shot him)

But I did not shoot, no deputy (ain’t shoot no deputy)

Ohhh no, NOOOOOOOO

[Verse 3:]

Illusions of the world and my mind begin to twirl

Thinkin’ ’bout a wife, a lil’ boy and a girl

You can do this when your pockets are fat, not skinny

And at this point of time, I ain’t makin’ a penny

Hard times of it, so I gotta get my slang on

Back on The Ave., where I used to get my bang on

Homies all around, still pullin’ llicks

Ain’t worry ’bout a thang from Officer Dick

Yo they get theirs, so I gotta get mine

Knowin’ damn well the risks of doin’ time

To run this city, was the master plan

Yo I breathed the Aves., the block, the streets like a diaphragm

Times have changed, but I still scrap for mine (MINE)

That’s how I’m livin’ on the Westside

That’s how I’m livin’ on the Westside (Westside)

On the West… side

To the funky-ass Westside (Westside, Westside…)

[Hook – Kenyatta:]

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-na-naaa-ahhha-aahh

C’mon! Lemme hear you say

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-naa-naaahh-ahhhh

Tone Lōc Pimp Without A Caddy

Hit me

Aaaaah yeeeaah

That’s the flavor right there

Sho’ you’re right

Yo, tell em what it’s all about, man

All that ballin thing

How you got it goin and on and on with that, huh

(Tell em what it’s all about)

[Verse 1:]

I’m a straight up hustler, never grew up in the ghetto, though

Yet strapped with a gat and stiletto, ho

Some say that I grew up in a wild hood

Not even knowin where I spent my childhood

The voice of panic hittin hard to make you hyper

The rhymes are pin-point and aim is sharp like a sniper

Out the barrels, the hollow point, comes the bullet

The trigger’s aimin, yo, I ain’t afraid to pull it

Cause in the city you never know what can come up

You turn your back and what’s up – a sucker runs up

And then you’re left in a stand-still

Nine times out of ten, yo, it’s kill or be killed

So I sit back and observe what goes on

So when a brother feels an oath to carryin on

I let him know this ain’t the time and place

But there will be a time and place

And I’m a smoke his ass…

Throw him so deep in the ground, boy, you think he was grass

And when you wake up, apologize to your daddy

O.G. Loc, boy, a pimp without a Caddy

Youknowmsayin?

Just a O.G. type brother

I want you to break it down

And tell em about the days of young

[Verse 2:]

Now the pimpin I talkin ’bout, it don’t include girls

I pimp microphones and rock worlds

I been a gangsta since back in the day

Junior High School, I think it was in ’78

Back in the days when locs was called insanes

And I was coolin with my big cousin Nobrain

Back then, you know a sucker wouldn’t face me

Scared of catchin the pointed tips of my Stacy’s

Strollin the street with my sweet girl Jackie

Creased Curduroys and starched up khakis

Back then that was the style and it was ice

And every gear you saw me in was deadly precise

I ain’t never had a problem on any block

Cause if I did, sho’ I cut him and get socked

Roll in my Schwin, blazin up a fattie

Young Loc, boy, a pimp without a Caddy

Uknowmsayin?

Just a little bad gooseneck, uknowmsayin?

Wasn’t really into a whole lotta bullshit

Just doin his own thing

Straight get his scrap on

But it was kinda cool, uknowmsayin

That’s why he was very well respected

[Verse 3:]

It ain’t all about who you’re bangin

Gangbangin or how much dope you’re slingin

It’s all about gettin your life established

And when you’re livin like Loc, your life is lavish

Everything, from my living to my bathtub

The exotic women and different type of backrubs

The places I travel, the things that I see

You’re startin to get the picture how they start to juice me?

You can’t compare me to wanna-pimps whimps

Cause that’s entirely a different type of pimp

Longevity is the key to my success

Not rollin around makin women undress

I am a player, petty actions surveyor

Never heard about a headache, cause I use Vaya

So the women can come kiss the sugar daddy

O.G. Loc, boy, a pimp without a Caddy

Uknowmsayin?

It was on to the break of dawn

I got it like that

I’m sworn to the hood

But check

I got things to do

Check this out

[Verse 4:]

An O.G. for life, and that’s what I have to be

Just like the homies standin front and back of me

And when you see us don’t ask stupid questions

Are we gangbangin? You know what’s our profession

We’re servin suckers techniques and good rhymes

Big Buds, loose women and good times

I don’t hesitate to check a boy in a second

He thinks I’m soft just because I went and made a record

It’s that petty thought that got him all smoked out

By a brother named Tone who was loc’ed out

I nutted up and I’m known to do it on occasion

And engagin in.44s and 12-gauges

Some old suckers lay the beat twice as hard

And when you see I got 20’000 bodyguards

I came to battle with rhymes, knowin theirs shabby

O.G. Loc, boy, a pimp without a Caddy

Uknowmsayin?

Straight up down for the crown

Tribe thing, uknowmsayin?

No matter who you are or where you come from

When they push you back to the wall

You got no choice but to come out swingin

Uknowmsayin

And that’s straight up real

No matter where you’re from

Laws of the street

Pimpin style

Special shout-out to the Westside Trizzide

Special shout-out to my homies EPMD

Special shout-out to Humpy Hump and crew

Special shout-out to ATL

What’s up with your football game?

Tone-Loc 150 yards, don’t know

To all the homies on the Westside

Tone Lōc Freaky Behavior

[Tone-Loc:]

Sometimes I can’t he-help myself…

AwwwwwwWWWWWWWWWW yeah!

[Verse 1:]

It was a few years back… if I recall…

I was out on tour, Miami, just havin a ball!

Had a few Medinas one night, we decided to hit this club

Twelve deep, gotta FREAK, cause y’know I got major pub

Little did I know that I was in for a big surprise

Met this lil’ sweet cutie thang with’ them beautiful golden thighs

“He” said, “Tony, y’know I’m playful we can, huh, do the Do”

I said, “I’m goin’ back to my plac’ baby, the Falcon Bleu”

We got off the elevator, to my suite on the nineteenth floor

But inside, my boy [?] was tearin’ UP this score

So me and this little isph drove down to the beach and sssoothed

I was diggin’ up sand and that baby howlin’ at the moon

I was all up in the mix and everything was copasetic

An officer came, shined his light, and said (“Son, you can forget it! “)

I yelled for help, but the punk said, “There’s no one left to save ya”

DAYMN! [Damn] Locked up for my um… freaky behaaavior

(Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior)

My freaky behavior

(Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior)

My freaky behaaaavior, whaaa…

(Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior)

My freaky behavior

Sometimes I can’t he-help myself…

(“Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior” [x4])

I remember back… when I was five-and-a-half

Hangin’ out a my homie’s lil’ six-year old birthday bash

Me and my next-door neighbor, Big Willie, know him that well

I used to play with him anyway, cause his mom was fine as hell!

Y’know one of them brothaz, who’s moms look real young…

And just ta get a glimpse, you used to go over and play with’ her son, yeah!

Well back to this party, it was boring and kinda slow

Playin’ “Pin the Tail on a Donkey”, hey, and my turn to go

They blindfolded me, but I could see her so, yes

I pinned the tail smack-down, boom, Kenny’s mom chest

I couldn’t help myself y’all, ha-as the Lord is my Savior

WHOO, I got the whoopin’ of my life from my ya… my freaky behaaavior, whaaa

(Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior)

My freaky behavior, um…

(Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior)

My freaky behaaaavior, what?

(Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior)

My freaky behavior…

Sometimes I can’t he-help myself…

“LET’S… [?] real cool!” [x3]

“He’s no fool!” [x2]

“HUH!”

“HUH!”

“HUH!”

“HUH!” “HUH!”

“HUH!” “HUH!”

“HUH!” “HUH!”

Since I’m from Cali… I do a lil’ swimmin’…

This one particular time, I had a whole POOL fulla women

One swam over ta me, and of course she was doin’ her breaststroke

Very damn extremely trimmin’, she looked very dope!

She said, “Let’s go inside, Tony! And make love for [?]

I said, “Why we gotta go inside, baby? Let’s do it right here!”

She said, “Here? In front of all these people? No way, forget it!”

I swam away, she said, “WAIT! Okay, I’m with it!”

She took off her bikini, so I KNOW it was time to jam…

And I was on the water, knockin’ boots like Blackuaman [Aquaman] can!

She start to drown, so of course I have to save her!

DAYUM! [Damn] I just can’t help it chya’ll it’s my… freaky behaaavior

(Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior)

Hm, my freaky behavior

(Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior)

Hm, my freaky behaaaavior, whaaa…

(Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior)

What? My freaky behavior

Sometimes I can’t he-help myself…

(“Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior” [x2])

“LET’S… [?] real cool!” [x3]

“He’s no fool!” [x2]

(“Work… in… on… my… frea-ky… behavior” [x2])

Tone Lōc Cheeba Cheeba

When I get to a party, to get it started

I grab the microphone and rock it cold hearted

Go behind the curtains while my fans just point

You know what Loc’s doin, I’m blazin a joint

Cause it seems a lot of times, I’m at my best

After some indica, or a bowl of sess

I’m creatin, multiplyin, big time supplyin

Enough bud, to keep the WHOLE party high on

I might get ill and roll an eighth in one hooter

Park my Benz or cold jet out on my scooter

Bail to the coast, take a hell of a skunk

Twist up a big baba of this serious dope

Smoke it down to the nub, use my roach clip

So much damn resin, it’s starting to drip

It ain’t harmful like heroin; it’s also cheaper

That’s why I’m glad homeboy that I

[Chorus x2:]

Got that Cheeba!

Cheeba Cheeba

Man, Don’t cha hate it when you ain’t go no weed

It seems about the time you really feel the need

To get high, get full, you know get blasted

Keep ya singin’ the high it really lasted

Rollin’ around tryin’ not to get popped

By the boyz, the pigs, you know the cops

Pull into one spot to see what they’re all about

Suckers noddin’ their head, tellin’ you they’re all out

You go back to the crib, Pick up the telephone

You try everybody so I guess you call Tone

Cause I can buy it O.Z. or go buy dime

I can pay cash for her, I can get it on time

It really makes no difference long as I get lit

Roll it in my Zig Zag, take a big bong hit

Cause after the bud, My rhymes start flowin’

Never gettin’ short uh uh uh, they always knowin’

I’m maxin’, relaxin’, but never taxin’

No need for you to keep on askin’

If it is It, If the Shit is the Shit

Cause when it comes to smokin’ cheeba

You know my shit is legit

You’re the student, and I’m the teacher

I’m not a minister, reverent, I’m not a preacher

So excuse me while I call time

Cause I’m gonna take a few hits

In the middle of this rhyme…

[Chorus x2:]

Got that Cheeba!

Cheeba Cheeba

One day I was coolin’ with my homeboy Seal, chill

Getting fucked up in his Coupe De Ville, still

I wasn’t too high to know what I was doin’

Went to the store, copped some more brew and

Came back to the car, tried to be a winner

Rolled up all my roaches, barely made a pinner

I wasn’t upset I had more at the house

I was savin’ it for later, When I get with my spouse

Cause when we’re together, blazin’ the cheeba

She does things to me that you wouldn’t believe uh

I’m not talkin’ freaky or nothin’ obscene

But it’s not far off if you know what I mean

She’ll take me upstairs, lay me down on the bed

Pull off the Fila shorts and start givin’ me hizead

If I was boo I’d do the same

She must love it, She ain’t never complained

They’ll be moanin’, kickin’, a lot of screamin’

I work it so hard she starts steamin’

You know how it is after a couple of wooers

She was subject and I am the Ruler

She’s my freak y’all, but she’s no skeeza

One thing for sure, the girl’s always got that…

[Chorus x2:]

Got that Cheeba!

Cheeba Cheeba

Two weeks ago when I was writin’ this rhyme

I had the hydroponic, Boy that shit was fine

I had two joints, One for me and my homie

After half the show, He didn’t even know me

His eyes were so tight, they were helluva red

He could bearly hold them up, They were heavy as lead

An hour went by, He said Loc I’m kinda hungry

I said “Oh shit! This brothers got the munchies!”

Got off my couch, put my Gucci’s on my feet

Went to the 7-11, it was right up the street

I ordered everythin’ edible off the shelf

He thought it was shared, I ate it all myself

When we got back to the car, Headed north then south

I needed a drink I had a cotton mouth

We had so much food didn’t know where to start

At the Häagan Daas or Kelloggs Pop Tarts

Big bags of chips, gallons of dips

It took me weeks to get the taste of my lips

I ate so much miserable is how I felt

Almost busted out my pants had to loosen my belt

Kickin at the tube, watchin’ none better than

You know the king of late night, Yeah Dave Letterman

Not too hilarious, jokes kinda plain

But everything is funny when you’re smoking Mary Jane…

[Outro:]

Mary Jane

Mary Jane

Yeah… Tell ’em ’bout it baby

I’m in love with Mary Jane

She’s my main thing

She makes me feel all right

She makes my heart sing

Mary Jane

Tone Lōc Funky Westside

(Aw yeah, huh)

[Tone-Loc:]

(UH!) One-two, one-two…

Oh my God! Tone-Loc, where you been?

Oh, he back in the studio! HO-OH-oh-oh [laughs]

… Ohhh shhhit… It’s a miracle…

Hey, hey, whatcha gotta do, whatcha gotta do…

Check it out, holmes…

[Tone-Loc imitates a Jamaican rasta:]

BO-BO… Ladies and gentlemon… it is time for me to introduce to you

The grandmaster, the MC, that ‘oes from coast to coast

The gggrandwizard, The Man, The Myth, Tone Smith

But [?] known as, Tone-Loc!

Yo LOCO… I wan you to rip it up for ’em, mon!

Tell us what it’s all a-bout… rip it away from [?] bloodclots…

And do it for the westsyyyyde…

[Verse 1:]

I do believe the year was 1966

A young brother was brought up in the mix…

And ever since that day was born

Like a mother from a baby, he could never be torn

From the neighborhood that tardy so much

I’da hustle and chill, and surviving the clutch…

And if you didn’t know, I’m talkin’ ’bout the best side

Where the tribe reside on that Westside

This ain’t Bed-Stuy, but it’s like “Do or Die”

Contemplatin’ suicide to ride by

Homicides, and then it’s ova… (ova, ova…)

No rabbits for the four-leaf clover

Everything is everything, just mind yo’ buis-ness

And when I handle mine, I leave no witness

So when you’re walkin’, aim straight and keep goin’

The rhymes are gumblin’ and the tribe is still, flowin’

Fo’-deep in the G-ride… (G-ide, G-ride…)

Tryna make it, to the funky-ass Westside

To the funky-ass Westside (Westside, Westside…)

[Hook – Kenyatta:]

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-na-naaa-ahhha-aahh

C’mon! Lemme hear you say

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-naa-naaahh-ahhhh

[Verse 2:]

III remember the dayys, as a tee-ager

Before the hypeness, of a sky-pager…

It was “Happy Days, ” now “Who’s The Boss?”

Instead of The Shuffle, we was doin’ El Lacoss

And it was easy to catch a girl solo

Bust out the gigolo, but showed the polo

Before you thought we was coooold freakin’

BIG grindin’, dancin’ cheek to cheek and

Steal a kiss and you know I’m all excited!

Until the point where I can’t even hide it

And when you know, someone stepped on my shoe

And why they do that? And I done had too many blues

I tried, real hard, to stay cool and calm

He didn’t say, “Excuse me” so I had to BOMB

Lookin’ at his [?], I was only upset!

So I get, betta watch the step… (watch the step…)

On the funky-funky Westside… (Westside…)

It’s a funky-funky Westside

[Hook – Kenyatta:]

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-na-naaa-ahhha-aahh

C’mon! Lemme hear you say

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-naa-naaahh-ahhhh

[Tone-Loc over Hook:]

For the O.G.s’ and dawgs, know what I’m sayin’?

Fo’ the insanes… to all the rocks

To all the Locs’…

[Kenyatta:]

I-I-I-IIIIII shot the sher-IFF (Yeah I did…)

But I did not shoot no deputy… (Nah…)

Ohhh no, NOOOOOOO (I didn’t chalk him)

I said, III shot the sher-IFF (yeah, I shot him)

But I did not shoot, no deputy (ain’t shoot no deputy)

Ohhh no, NOOOOOOOO

[Verse 3:]

Illusions of the world and my mind begin to twirl

Thinkin’ ’bout a wife, a lil’ boy and a girl

You can do this when your pockets are fat, not skinny

And at this point of time, I ain’t makin’ a penny

Hard times of it, so I gotta get my slang on

Back on The Ave., where I used to get my bang on

Homies all around, still pullin’ llicks

Ain’t worry ’bout a thang from Officer Dick

Yo they get theirs, so I gotta get mine

Knowin’ damn well the risks of doin’ time

To run this city, was the master plan

Yo I breathed the Aves., the block, the streets like a diaphragm

Times have changed, but I still scrap for mine (MINE)

That’s how I’m livin’ on the Westside

That’s how I’m livin’ on the Westside (Westside)

On the West… side

To the funky-ass Westside (Westside, Westside…)

[Hook – Kenyatta:]

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-na-naaa-ahhha-aahh

C’mon! Lemme hear you say

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-naa-naaahh-ahhhh

Tone Lōc Funky Cold Medina

Alright, dig it

[Verse 1:]

Cold coolin at a bar, and I’m lookin for some action

But like Mike Jagger said, I can’t get no satisfaction

The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me

My threads are fresh and I’m lookin def, yo, what’s up with L-o-c?

The girls is all jockin at the other end of the bar

Havin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I’m the star

So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina

I asked the guy, “Why you so fly?” he said, “Funky Cold Medina”

Funky Cold Medina

[Verse 2:]

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks

Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls’ll come real quick

It’s better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac

A couple of sips of this love potion, and she’ll be on your lap

So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg

Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg

He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner

But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina

You know what I’m sayin?

I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my door

I got Spuds McKenzie

Alex from Stroh’s

They won’t leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

[Verse 3:]

I went up to this girl, she said, “Hi, my name is Sheena”

I thought she’d be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina

She said, “I’d like a drink, ” I said, “Ehm – ok, I’ll go get it”

Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it

So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned

But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man

So I threw him out, I don’t fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener

You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina

You know, ain’t no plans with a man

This is the 80’s, and I’m down with the ladies

Ya know?

Break it down

[Verse 4:]

Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection

I took a shot as a contestant on “The Love Connection”

The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner

I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner

She had a few drinks, I’m thinkin soon what I’ll be gettin

Instead she started talkin ’bout plans for our weddin

I said, “Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I’ll be seein’ ya”

That’s why I found you don’t play around with the Funky Cold Medina

Ya know what I’m sayin

That Medina’s a monster, y’all

Funky Cold Medina

Tone Lōc Pimp Without A Caddy

Hit me

Aaaaah yeeeaah

That’s the flavor right there

Sho’ you’re right

Yo, tell em what it’s all about, man

All that ballin thing

How you got it goin and on and on with that, huh

(Tell em what it’s all about)

[Verse 1:]

I’m a straight up hustler, never grew up in the ghetto, though

Yet strapped with a gat and stiletto, ho

Some say that I grew up in a wild hood

Not even knowin where I spent my childhood

The voice of panic hittin hard to make you hyper

The rhymes are pin-point and aim is sharp like a sniper

Out the barrels, the hollow point, comes the bullet

The trigger’s aimin, yo, I ain’t afraid to pull it

Cause in the city you never know what can come up

You turn your back and what’s up – a sucker runs up

And then you’re left in a stand-still

Nine times out of ten, yo, it’s kill or be killed

So I sit back and observe what goes on

So when a brother feels an oath to carryin on

I let him know this ain’t the time and place

But there will be a time and place

And I’m a smoke his ass…

Throw him so deep in the ground, boy, you think he was grass

And when you wake up, apologize to your daddy

O.G. Loc, boy, a pimp without a Caddy

Youknowmsayin?

Just a O.G. type brother

I want you to break it down

And tell em about the days of young

[Verse 2:]

Now the pimpin I talkin ’bout, it don’t include girls

I pimp microphones and rock worlds

I been a gangsta since back in the day

Junior High School, I think it was in ’78

Back in the days when locs was called insanes

And I was coolin with my big cousin Nobrain

Back then, you know a sucker wouldn’t face me

Scared of catchin the pointed tips of my Stacy’s

Strollin the street with my sweet girl Jackie

Creased Curduroys and starched up khakis

Back then that was the style and it was ice

And every gear you saw me in was deadly precise

I ain’t never had a problem on any block

Cause if I did, sho’ I cut him and get socked

Roll in my Schwin, blazin up a fattie

Young Loc, boy, a pimp without a Caddy

Uknowmsayin?

Just a little bad gooseneck, uknowmsayin?

Wasn’t really into a whole lotta bullshit

Just doin his own thing

Straight get his scrap on

But it was kinda cool, uknowmsayin

That’s why he was very well respected

[Verse 3:]

It ain’t all about who you’re bangin

Gangbangin or how much dope you’re slingin

It’s all about gettin your life established

And when you’re livin like Loc, your life is lavish

Everything, from my living to my bathtub

The exotic women and different type of backrubs

The places I travel, the things that I see

You’re startin to get the picture how they start to juice me?

You can’t compare me to wanna-pimps whimps

Cause that’s entirely a different type of pimp

Longevity is the key to my success

Not rollin around makin women undress

I am a player, petty actions surveyor

Never heard about a headache, cause I use Vaya

So the women can come kiss the sugar daddy

O.G. Loc, boy, a pimp without a Caddy

Uknowmsayin?

It was on to the break of dawn

I got it like that

I’m sworn to the hood

But check

I got things to do

Check this out

[Verse 4:]

An O.G. for life, and that’s what I have to be

Just like the homies standin front and back of me

And when you see us don’t ask stupid questions

Are we gangbangin? You know what’s our profession

We’re servin suckers techniques and good rhymes

Big Buds, loose women and good times

I don’t hesitate to check a boy in a second

He thinks I’m soft just because I went and made a record

It’s that petty thought that got him all smoked out

By a brother named Tone who was loc’ed out

I nutted up and I’m known to do it on occasion

And engagin in.44s and 12-gauges

Some old suckers lay the beat twice as hard

And when you see I got 20’000 bodyguards

I came to battle with rhymes, knowin theirs shabby

O.G. Loc, boy, a pimp without a Caddy

Uknowmsayin?

Straight up down for the crown

Tribe thing, uknowmsayin?

No matter who you are or where you come from

When they push you back to the wall

You got no choice but to come out swingin

Uknowmsayin

And that’s straight up real

No matter where you’re from

Laws of the street

Pimpin style

Special shout-out to the Westside Trizzide

Special shout-out to my homies EPMD

Special shout-out to Humpy Hump and crew

Special shout-out to ATL

What’s up with your football game?

Tone-Loc 150 yards, don’t know

To all the homies on the Westside

Tone Lōc Lōc’ed After Dark

Allow me to display if I may

I’m ready to start (So am I) Well, OK

I’ve been held back for several years

I had a few squabbles, never shedded no tears

But like an uzi on the mic they call me Tone Capone

Slangin’ down with your posse if you’re standin’ alone

Cultivatin’ all cities and tearin’ up towns

I treat you like a king goin’ for a rebound

When I’m on the mic, some say that I’m treacherous

They used to be the best – yeah, I bet you was

I never lost a battle, I ain’t never been beat

Go look on the sharp tombstones on the street

Suckas like you try to diss with nerve

But I slay you down and lay you down next to the curb

Now I’m all in flesh, blindin’ the one that stare

I drop you on the pavement, leave you parked in the rear

I don’t need no protection so here’s a little lesson

When I leave the house, insured my Smif-N-Wessun

A.357, cold bobbin’ off 11

It puts you in hell, or it could place you up in heaven

You lookin’ for trouble, then it’s trouble I spark

But I’m tellin’ you now, I get Loc’ed After Dark

[Chorus:]

Doin’ it after dark

Doin’ it at the park

Oh yeah, Loc gets hard

Oh yeah, [?] gets hard

Freaks never cease, just to say the least

I’ll start mobbin’ motherfuckers like a savage beast

I’m takin’ my turn to make the mic burn

And when I’m teachin’ class, there’s a lesson to be learned

Now I battle posses and tribes alike

Never battle out of hate; I always battle for spite

Cold jealous of me, the Westside man

The leader of the brothers, and killer of the Klan

But I don’t give a shit cause my rhyme is legit

Cold put you in the yard and tie you up with my pit

Cause when she starts to bite, that’s when I will ignite

The views of the party taken to new heights

I consider myself to be a part of the elite

Suave and debonaire because the rhyme is so sweet

Been causin’ confusion, magician of illusion

You got a little, problem, here’s a solution

A winner never quits and a quitter never wins

So why you just gamblin’ with dubs and fiends?

Remember what I say, it sticks like Krazy Glue

I’m tellin’ you now, I’m not afraid of you

Look up in my face, I’ll tear your heart apart

And like I told you before, (what?) I get Loc’ed After Dark

[Chorus x2:]

Doin’ it after dark

Doin’ it at the park

Oh yeah, Loc gets hard

Oh yeah, [?] gets hard

MC’s, comin’ out like thunder

I’ll make you see why Stevie had to Wonder

Is he fiction or is he a myth?

Naw, it’s just a dope rapper, you know Tone Smith

Cause every time you hear my song your hands clap

The Chosen One, puttin’ LA on the map

With no objection I plead my case

Tone Loc, full capacity, leavin’ out of space

The ace contender will never surrender

When I rock a show you always remember

The one and only, superior to many

Me losin’ a battle? Naw, I can’t remember any

Although, in the days, I may have lost one

Who the hell am I kiddin’, I ain’t been outdone

Cause I’m the best, and I live out West

And if you want a dope song, I’ll play your request

It don’t take much to make a crowd live

Just some Boots and some droids and a little bit of slide

I step on stage and clear my hair

My next start, hmm, just a knock-up dare

No uzi… my voice from the start

But you never know (why?) cause I get Loc’ed After Dark

[Chorus x2:]

Doin’ it after dark

Doin’ it at the park

Oh yeah, Loc gets hard

Oh yeah, [?] gets hard

Yo Wop, wussup, why don’t you do me a little favor, man, why don’t you

Scratch my back for me? (dj scratches) Ohh yeah. Little bit over to the

Left. (dj scratches) Aaight, aaight, move it up now. (dj scratches)

Yeah. Now a little bit down. (dj scratches) Now a little bit higher

(Dj scratches)

Little bit over to the left, yeahhhhh. I’ll Wop’s in the house

We outta here. Yessss, hasta la negro

[Chorus – till fade:]

Doin’ it after dark

Doin’ it at the park

Oh yeah, Loc gets hard

Oh yeah, [?] gets hard