The Offspring Disclaimer

ladies and gentlemen

welcome to the disclaimer

that’s right the disclaimer

this american apple pie institution

known as parental discretion

will cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm

from the lyrics that might actually make you think

and will also insult your intelligence at the same time

so protect your family

this album contains explicit depictions

of things which are real

these real things are commonly known as life

so if it sounds sarcastic don’t take it seriously

if it sounds dangerous

do not try this at home or at all

and if it offends you just don’t listen to it